As I get older, amidst all the hustle and bustle in life, I realise I need a peaceful inlet, what people would commonly know as 'Chu' time.
I realise sometimes I don't quite fancy the notion of spending time with people with nothing but superficial topics. And yet that seem to be the only thing we can discuss. And sometimes a phrase is all I have to sum up the entire complicated stuff happening because with people I rarely meet up with, the last thing I want to do is to 'bitch'.
Even if it is allowed, I tend to hide the more exuberant vocal side. Somehow I am just not comfortable anymore with 'bitching' with those I was comfortable 'bitching' with before. Even if it is allowed and you are comfortable with 'bitching' somehow it just wouldn't do to introduce a negative topic into the conversation especially if nothing leads up to it.
I guess the whole point of this entry is I am indeed bugged by an issue. It ain't anything bad. It's just some confusing stuff that I have yet to see the light of. And no, I don't really want to talk about it with people because I don't think I want to hear what other people have to say. Because I'm concerned that it would affect my judgement and right now, I guess the thing I feel most comfortable with is my own judgement even if it is indeed mixed in with uncertainty.
Was with Nana and I was wondering if I should just talk to her. It then struck me that I don't really want to talk to people about it.
I just want to soak myself in some pickled 'Chu' time. But is it age? Or is it because when it comes to certain stuff I don't have anybody right to talk to anymore.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
wherein I whine about work progress
To be done:
One 1500-word essay complete with references, appendix, cover page- One 2000-word essay complete with references, appendix, cover page
- One chemistry lesson plan complete with materials
+
- One reflection on microteaching (which I've forgotten)
(-_-")
Minus 1, add 1 = status quo
ARGH !
Thursday, February 14, 2008
I'm in deep shit again
I know I am down in deep shit when it comes to work, when:
- Nana had free premiere tickets to the spin-off of Death Note for yesterday and I said I couldn't go. (I COULDN'T GO !!!!) You know if it was actually possible, I would have procrastinated any work..super obvious that I was at the end of my tether...
- Nana had tickets to a another god-knows-what romantic comedy today and I couldn't go and my brain was so filled with other stuff that I forgot all about charging my handphone and missed her SMS.
- HF messages if the peeps were free for a 团拜 on Sunday and all that came out of me was a rude SMS stating 'not free'
- it didn't even strike to me that the SMS was rude until upon hindsight when I was so giddy from staring at the computer that I could no longer walk straight.
Sigh..."No !" to free movie tickets to premieres....TWICE in two days...Fantastic lor...
The worst thing is I have absolutely no idea how to write the 2 essays that sums up to be 3500 words in total. But at least I handed in the test construction for Maths today and got 2 presentations over and done with.
2 essays + 1 lesson plan to be completed by Wednesday. Aiming to finish on Monday.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Jay Chou's concert '08
Jay Chou's concert was disappointing. I've been to 3 I think and the latest one (which was so darn hard to get tickets for) was the lousiest of all that I've seen.
There was definitely something wrong, to my ears, that is.
Nana was saying he 'minus-ed' a few keys, completely avoiding the higher ranges. I knew it was wrong but once she pointed that out. Yeah.. it seemed like he was singing at least 2 keys lower. That is like at least 4 semitones?! For 'Ju Hua Tai' he had trouble holding the notes. He sounded breathless and lyrics came out staggered.
Then of course, I have to admit that I am no trained professional. But let's say even if his pitch, tone and key was perfect, his voice wasn't pretty. The funny thing was...his older songs were ok. Perhaps he tweaked his later compositions to a more appealing key and found himself unable to maintain quality at the higher range.
A segment of the concert...and 'live' was better of course because I didn't get the most expensive tickets and so wasn't sitting at the front when I was recording this. Still....taking into account the poorer audio quality, the flaws were evident. The parts where the notes were down by a semitone...flatter....(>.<)
Updated: I compared this video with the MTV on Youtube....the concert one sounds lower...
Pitch, tone, even the key seemed understated. Nana was of the opinion that he couldn't make it 'live' as in he couldn't hit the high notes 'live' so to be safe, keys of some songs were lowered. Of course the consequence of that is the characteristics of the song will be lost. Somehow this concert paled in comparison to his previous concerts despite the large amount of fireworks, laser lights and fanciful dancers.
It was a good show but ultimately the point to his concert, (which was his voice !!!) lacked lustre. I guess I will still support his CDs as there are clearly not much fault with them. However as to his concerts, I will have to think twice after being so disillusioned. At least if I am ever going again to see if there is any redeeming factors, I will be purchasing the cheapest ticket available.
Of course, the general opinion that I've gotten so far was that his concert was fabulous. Definitely.....the glamour and 'seh' was there what.. plus all the gimicks and fireworks and colourful ribbons floating down....
I suppose that it is unsurprising that his talent as a singer did not impress. After all, nobody is expected to have it all. Well...either he was not feeling on form that day or he bit off more than he could chew with his later compositions.
Ok..I just thought of one redeeming factor... there didn't seem to be a problem with his tempo..rhythmic sense was ok...
Status: disillusioned...
There was definitely something wrong, to my ears, that is.
Nana was saying he 'minus-ed' a few keys, completely avoiding the higher ranges. I knew it was wrong but once she pointed that out. Yeah.. it seemed like he was singing at least 2 keys lower. That is like at least 4 semitones?! For 'Ju Hua Tai' he had trouble holding the notes. He sounded breathless and lyrics came out staggered.
Then of course, I have to admit that I am no trained professional. But let's say even if his pitch, tone and key was perfect, his voice wasn't pretty. The funny thing was...his older songs were ok. Perhaps he tweaked his later compositions to a more appealing key and found himself unable to maintain quality at the higher range.
A segment of the concert...and 'live' was better of course because I didn't get the most expensive tickets and so wasn't sitting at the front when I was recording this. Still....taking into account the poorer audio quality, the flaws were evident. The parts where the notes were down by a semitone...flatter....(>.<)
Updated: I compared this video with the MTV on Youtube....the concert one sounds lower...
Pitch, tone, even the key seemed understated. Nana was of the opinion that he couldn't make it 'live' as in he couldn't hit the high notes 'live' so to be safe, keys of some songs were lowered. Of course the consequence of that is the characteristics of the song will be lost. Somehow this concert paled in comparison to his previous concerts despite the large amount of fireworks, laser lights and fanciful dancers.
It was a good show but ultimately the point to his concert, (which was his voice !!!) lacked lustre. I guess I will still support his CDs as there are clearly not much fault with them. However as to his concerts, I will have to think twice after being so disillusioned. At least if I am ever going again to see if there is any redeeming factors, I will be purchasing the cheapest ticket available.
Of course, the general opinion that I've gotten so far was that his concert was fabulous. Definitely.....the glamour and 'seh' was there what.. plus all the gimicks and fireworks and colourful ribbons floating down....
I suppose that it is unsurprising that his talent as a singer did not impress. After all, nobody is expected to have it all. Well...either he was not feeling on form that day or he bit off more than he could chew with his later compositions.
Ok..I just thought of one redeeming factor... there didn't seem to be a problem with his tempo..rhythmic sense was ok...
Status: disillusioned...
Friday, January 18, 2008
Readings on Indochina
A while back, I spent relatively less time online until a friend commented that she didn't see me online anymore. I got sick of myself being unproductive. I mean I hardly do anything when I am online except maybe to 'stone' or to engage in MSN conversations that I have no recollections when I go offline.
And so with the number of books I have lining up to be read, I've been reading.
I've finished 1 so far and on my way to finishing another. The first book I started with proved to be too dry and abstract for me to persist on. It is almost impossible to read without a good grounding in the political, historical and social environment of the era and so I left it aside for the time being.
The third one I am reading now, 'Voices of S-21' is a relatively easier read. I've gone from knowing almost nothing to knowing a little, enough to start a little critical thinking.
I read the heavy stuff for around an hour before I go to bed and I've realised that as I drift off to sleep, the same questions keep floating back to me. As someone who has traversed the path of education, and still walking it now, perhaps even playing the role of the occasional guide, I've always thought that knowledge is a good thing.
Education is something to be lauded. However a little knowledge in the hands of the ignorant is so deadly. The Khmer Rouge took that to new heights. I kept wondering how it was possible to have such a good idea fail. Was communism doomed to fail? The utopian society not possible at all?
Or was there just not enough time for it to develop?
I was reading a paragraph whereby the Khmer Rouge believed that dedication to the state was of utmost importance and they undermined family ties as well as ties of any other sort. They failed of course. If they have persisted, would they finally achieve what they had imagined?
Of course there were many layerings and discrete bubbles of ideas in various colours and degrees of vividness floating and swirling around my head. Bubbles too big for me to hug, like the political system and their respective ideologies where I was trying to make sense of what they were actually thinking. The different sometimes contradictory aspects and approaches of the party is still quite formless to me. In the whole phantasmagorical state of my surrealist mind, they form and disappear.
Scenes from the movie, The Matrix, appear. Soldiers in their drab uniforms march sternly with their loyalty, confidence and dedication almost forming a visible aura surrounding them. Even 'Animal Farm' made an appearance.
People were imprisoned on suspicions of treason. I mean realistically, which government wouldn't? Taking into account the newly-formed government, the whole global political climate back then of communism versus capitalism and the desire to be strong, independent and to create a society of equality, I drift into sleep almost every night wondering if the whole genocide thing is worth its weight in hype.
The only spectacular difference was that the massive number of people who died were Cambodians and Khmers. When I first started accumulating knowledge on Cambodia, I was affected and I felt so deeply for those who had died that even mere words on a plaque at the Killing Fields could move me profoundly.
However the motivation to learn more and the gradual acccumulation of knowledge sparked me to look at things clinically and I realised that one reason why I was so affected was because I had instinctively valued life of a individual human being at its highest and had perhaps also unconsciously assumed that all those who died were innocent.
If not all were innocent, in the bigger scheme of things, where uncertainty abound and decisions have to be made, what will you have done?
I wouldn't dare say that they were right but perhaps under certain circumstances, its understandable that certain things would happen in a certain way. Where before I would find revolt and disgust at the ugliness of humanity, somehow now I manage to find a little compassion for them.
Communism appeared because of the inequality in society. The people who led were not compassionate visionaries. The ravages of a previous unequal society had remained too embedded in their minds such that they reject all who were deemed 'better' using the previous scale.
They lost, they failed and in the course of history, hardly anyone will paint the losers in a better light. And perhaps because I have also seen the deplorable usage of human rights in the hands of the ignorant and maybe because a part of the Asian mentality consists of the group or community spirit, I can understand a little where the Communist Party of Kampuchea (CPK)came from.
For a while, I stopped at where the Cambodians were finally liberated by the Vietnamese army. Having asked the father about Camodia and him talking about China, Korea, events about the Cold war and the Vietnam war (everything but Cambodia instead), I was forced to take the relatively easy way out by googling. (-_-")
Then I realised that Vietnam invaded Cambodia because of border disputes. It kind of took me by surprise because having read a book where Cambodians relate their personal stories with most of it ending with things like, "the dark times ended when the Vietnamese army arrived", it struck me that because of reading things like these over and over again, I was unconsciously under the impression that the Vietnamese army was a saviour of some sort, saving them from the nightmare of CPK. I slapped myself awake... Yah right...came to invade them not to save them. (-_-")
I wasn't blind. But because the whole darn elephant was so huge, I could only see its tail. I supposed I was too focused on Cambodia, things just get cut off at the stage where the Vietnamese entered. It had also slipped my mind that I was reading books written by everybody except the staunch CPK people, what more in the language of the capitalist conqueror.
I also realised that modern political history of Indo-china where countless of riots, wars and invasions took place is very complicated.
It also struck me that US has been fighting a lot of wars indeed.
There was also a part where South Vietnam cited US failure to follow through on a promise to provide military aid should North Vietnam invade. Somehow it reminded me of the Kyoto Protocol but that's irrelevant.
Anyway I started thinking of the various countries as roles in a production and arranging the webs....let's see...
US aided Vietnam because it was the only capitalist foothold it had in that region (DUH). China had strong ties with Cambodia because it was the only outlet it had in the Soviet-dominated neighbourhood.
And so with the number of books I have lining up to be read, I've been reading.
I've finished 1 so far and on my way to finishing another. The first book I started with proved to be too dry and abstract for me to persist on. It is almost impossible to read without a good grounding in the political, historical and social environment of the era and so I left it aside for the time being.
The third one I am reading now, 'Voices of S-21' is a relatively easier read. I've gone from knowing almost nothing to knowing a little, enough to start a little critical thinking.
I read the heavy stuff for around an hour before I go to bed and I've realised that as I drift off to sleep, the same questions keep floating back to me. As someone who has traversed the path of education, and still walking it now, perhaps even playing the role of the occasional guide, I've always thought that knowledge is a good thing.
Education is something to be lauded. However a little knowledge in the hands of the ignorant is so deadly. The Khmer Rouge took that to new heights. I kept wondering how it was possible to have such a good idea fail. Was communism doomed to fail? The utopian society not possible at all?
Or was there just not enough time for it to develop?
I was reading a paragraph whereby the Khmer Rouge believed that dedication to the state was of utmost importance and they undermined family ties as well as ties of any other sort. They failed of course. If they have persisted, would they finally achieve what they had imagined?
Of course there were many layerings and discrete bubbles of ideas in various colours and degrees of vividness floating and swirling around my head. Bubbles too big for me to hug, like the political system and their respective ideologies where I was trying to make sense of what they were actually thinking. The different sometimes contradictory aspects and approaches of the party is still quite formless to me. In the whole phantasmagorical state of my surrealist mind, they form and disappear.
Scenes from the movie, The Matrix, appear. Soldiers in their drab uniforms march sternly with their loyalty, confidence and dedication almost forming a visible aura surrounding them. Even 'Animal Farm' made an appearance.
People were imprisoned on suspicions of treason. I mean realistically, which government wouldn't? Taking into account the newly-formed government, the whole global political climate back then of communism versus capitalism and the desire to be strong, independent and to create a society of equality, I drift into sleep almost every night wondering if the whole genocide thing is worth its weight in hype.
The only spectacular difference was that the massive number of people who died were Cambodians and Khmers. When I first started accumulating knowledge on Cambodia, I was affected and I felt so deeply for those who had died that even mere words on a plaque at the Killing Fields could move me profoundly.
However the motivation to learn more and the gradual acccumulation of knowledge sparked me to look at things clinically and I realised that one reason why I was so affected was because I had instinctively valued life of a individual human being at its highest and had perhaps also unconsciously assumed that all those who died were innocent.
If not all were innocent, in the bigger scheme of things, where uncertainty abound and decisions have to be made, what will you have done?
I wouldn't dare say that they were right but perhaps under certain circumstances, its understandable that certain things would happen in a certain way. Where before I would find revolt and disgust at the ugliness of humanity, somehow now I manage to find a little compassion for them.
Communism appeared because of the inequality in society. The people who led were not compassionate visionaries. The ravages of a previous unequal society had remained too embedded in their minds such that they reject all who were deemed 'better' using the previous scale.
They lost, they failed and in the course of history, hardly anyone will paint the losers in a better light. And perhaps because I have also seen the deplorable usage of human rights in the hands of the ignorant and maybe because a part of the Asian mentality consists of the group or community spirit, I can understand a little where the Communist Party of Kampuchea (CPK)came from.
For a while, I stopped at where the Cambodians were finally liberated by the Vietnamese army. Having asked the father about Camodia and him talking about China, Korea, events about the Cold war and the Vietnam war (everything but Cambodia instead), I was forced to take the relatively easy way out by googling. (-_-")
Then I realised that Vietnam invaded Cambodia because of border disputes. It kind of took me by surprise because having read a book where Cambodians relate their personal stories with most of it ending with things like, "the dark times ended when the Vietnamese army arrived", it struck me that because of reading things like these over and over again, I was unconsciously under the impression that the Vietnamese army was a saviour of some sort, saving them from the nightmare of CPK. I slapped myself awake... Yah right...came to invade them not to save them. (-_-")
I wasn't blind. But because the whole darn elephant was so huge, I could only see its tail. I supposed I was too focused on Cambodia, things just get cut off at the stage where the Vietnamese entered. It had also slipped my mind that I was reading books written by everybody except the staunch CPK people, what more in the language of the capitalist conqueror.
I also realised that modern political history of Indo-china where countless of riots, wars and invasions took place is very complicated.
It also struck me that US has been fighting a lot of wars indeed.
There was also a part where South Vietnam cited US failure to follow through on a promise to provide military aid should North Vietnam invade. Somehow it reminded me of the Kyoto Protocol but that's irrelevant.
Anyway I started thinking of the various countries as roles in a production and arranging the webs....let's see...
US aided Vietnam because it was the only capitalist foothold it had in that region (DUH). China had strong ties with Cambodia because it was the only outlet it had in the Soviet-dominated neighbourhood.
The question I am wondering about is if capitalist US failed to aid South Vietnam (which they backed) because they already knew beforehand that there was a possibility that communist China would step in to deal with the communist North Vietnam so that communist China wouldn't be closed in a communist Soviet-dominated neighbourhood.
I never was very interested in modern history, especially the Cold War and all. Ancient histories and civilisations always seemed more interesting but they are beginning to seem fairly interesting.
Very very intricate delicate stuff.....the best thing is.................it makes you wonder about the mysteries of present-day politics. Mind games and strategies..
But I think I have to get back to my lesson plans..and I still haven't blogged about the last day in Cambodia.
Today is exactly a month since I came back from the trip...
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
An '08 concert (Jacky Cheung World Tour '07)
I am still left with Day 1 of Cambodia but I guess I really need to update with the more recent news.
I went for Jacky Cheung's concert on Sunday. I paid $200 for the ticket and believe me, I was waiting to see if he was worth the price. Indeed he did deserve that much...however I think that if there is a next time, I wouldn't mind the cheaper seats..it's enough to just hear him (though there were talks about the acoustics not being good at the back, due to the echos).
So why did I end up with the most expensive ticket? It is because nobody would go with me except for.....Nana (and only the best is good enough for her). Besides, well, forking that amount to see him that close, once in a lifetime was in my opinion, worth it.
His voice broke a few times and I'm not sure if anybody other than me, Nana and her 'laoshi' noticed the little imperfections...however it's not suprising given that it was his 93rd concert of his 2007 world tour, with 3 hours of almost non-stop singing and with all the screaming he had done that night...
In fact at one point he was screaming just for the sake of it...like...
Jacky: *screams...
Crowd: *screams
Jacky: *screams...
Crowd: *screams..
Jacky: *screams...
Crowd: *screams..
.
.
.
You get the idea...however the magnetic quality of his voice pulls you back immediately and you forget about all the minor imperfections...and I supposed I could really go on about how great he was but everybody can imagine how good he really is.. I figured it would probably be an overkill on my side.
So here's pictures...
We sat just 6 rows from the front.
I went for Jacky Cheung's concert on Sunday. I paid $200 for the ticket and believe me, I was waiting to see if he was worth the price. Indeed he did deserve that much...however I think that if there is a next time, I wouldn't mind the cheaper seats..it's enough to just hear him (though there were talks about the acoustics not being good at the back, due to the echos).
So why did I end up with the most expensive ticket? It is because nobody would go with me except for.....Nana (and only the best is good enough for her). Besides, well, forking that amount to see him that close, once in a lifetime was in my opinion, worth it.
His voice broke a few times and I'm not sure if anybody other than me, Nana and her 'laoshi' noticed the little imperfections...however it's not suprising given that it was his 93rd concert of his 2007 world tour, with 3 hours of almost non-stop singing and with all the screaming he had done that night...
In fact at one point he was screaming just for the sake of it...like...
Jacky: *screams...
Crowd: *screams
Jacky: *screams...
Crowd: *screams..
Jacky: *screams...
Crowd: *screams..
.
.
.
You get the idea...however the magnetic quality of his voice pulls you back immediately and you forget about all the minor imperfections...and I supposed I could really go on about how great he was but everybody can imagine how good he really is.. I figured it would probably be an overkill on my side.
So here's pictures...
We sat just 6 rows from the front.What will I do when they have all stopped singing and I am still here?
Guess there will always be that day where I will listen to all the deemed 'oldies' and remembering how being young felt like.
This wasn't taken by me... I found it while surfing Youtube....
On the way back on cab...I finally truly felt that there was a closure to my 2007.
The year 2007....has came to an end.
Somehow I've closed a gap that I wasn't even aware was present.
I've crossed a chasm to 2008.
God, I hope he continues to sing for as long as possible...
Sunday, January 6, 2008
A back-dated entry of a quiet December afternoon
This entry is quite very back-dated but seeing how I have taken all those pictures, I just have to post them I guess. I did this in December 2007 one day when I was to tag after Gan to work. It turned out that a problem cropped up and so after rushing to lunch with her at AMK, she turned back to work and I spent the day roaming around the city area.
I didn't quite know where to go and initially thought of just hanging around the river or Chinatown to take some pictures. However I passed by SMU and thought that maybe going to the museum wouldn't be such a bad thing either.
When I reached the Singapore Art Museum (SAM), it turned out that there is free entry from 12 pm to 2 pm on weekdays and thus I decided to just save it for another boring day.
In the end, I went to Chijmes.
Walking around was quaint. Nobody was there except for a sprinkling of tourists. After having explored every nook and cranny of the area, I walked around and ended up at Raffles Hotel.
Well... holiday is almost over. Met up with some old friends like Syl and Ah Meng. I did not see them at all in 2007. 
I didn't quite know where to go and initially thought of just hanging around the river or Chinatown to take some pictures. However I passed by SMU and thought that maybe going to the museum wouldn't be such a bad thing either.
When I reached the Singapore Art Museum (SAM), it turned out that there is free entry from 12 pm to 2 pm on weekdays and thus I decided to just save it for another boring day.
In the end, I went to Chijmes.
Walking around was quaint. Nobody was there except for a sprinkling of tourists. After having explored every nook and cranny of the area, I walked around and ended up at Raffles Hotel.
I walked around the hotel too and took pictures here, there, anywhere that caught my interest.
It so happened that they were holding an exhibition. So, I went in to have a look. You can click here to look at her paintings. Although the paintings do not involve much depth and perspectives as do Renaissance paintings which I am fond of, their simplicity and patterns they possess provides the visual texture needed to make them vastly appealing (at least to me). She seemed to have combined the soft approaches together with a flat perspective to create a special environment for me to weave in and out of my reality and the imaginary landscape of the painting's.
Anyway I was quite happy with that afternoon, where I just clicked away and also sat down to have coffee and read. I met up with Gan after and on a whim we decided to catch 'The Golden Compass'.
A quiet day. Every holiday should have at least one. There was also time for me to learn how to do this.
Well... holiday is almost over. Met up with some old friends like Syl and Ah Meng. I did not see them at all in 2007. There may be certain aspects in my life where I have no say in but I am thankful for the ownership over others, to be able to choose how I want to shape my life even if they do seem rather insignificant......
I am indeed thankful for that.
Life's good right...A time to work, a time to travel, a time to read, a time to meet friends. A time to learn the lessons I have no interest in and a time to learn the things I want to. A time to dream quiet little dreams.
To have time for music, to have time to read, to learn, to contemplate, to see the world.....all these satisfy the larger parts that make up me.
I'm here, I'm sane. That's all that matters. =)
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