Today was better but my legs ached terribly, all the way to the small of my back. I have no idea why. It couldn't be the run because the 9 k.m. with Gan didn't give me much of a problem and it was only about 2 k.m. today. The area around my knees ache especially the back of them. I think it is because I am not used to standing for long periods of time. And to think that I wore flats yesterday and sport shoes today. I think heels would have damaged my legs already.
The car has been changed. It is now a cool white. A 2.0 litre car and the top can open a little. It looks a bit weird though because that part is black. I was vastly amused to realised that all the fuss yesterday and today...and they wanted to trade that horrid blue for this white one. But come to think of it, I'm missing it ...a little now. After all it has been ferrying me and my stuff to school and places for the past 4 months. At least it was the one that accompanied me for most of the practicum.
Still tired. Came home to collapse after dinner. Slept and then woke up to staple worksheets. I couldn't send them for printing in time and the machine ran out of bullets.
Still feel like sleeping. Maybe I will after I finished stapling them. I've finished a class. Somehow, this reminds me of practicum. (-_-")
There are lots of things to learn and do. Most of them are shoved to the back of my head where I hope I will remember them. There hasn't even been time for me to figure out and start with the new laptop. Right now, it is sitting dismally on the table.
However some of the classes that I've been to seem rather nice. I just hope that they do stay that way.
Anyway, Nana got into the next round of SuperBand. Isn't that great?
Tomorrow....only 6 periods !!! Woo-hoo
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
Needing more time to myself
It has been a bad way to start the term. The term kicks off with a timetable that puts my heaviest workload on Mondays and Tuesdays coupled with a staff meeting half an hour after my last lesson of the day at 3 a.m.
My voice cracked with dis-use over the holidays, especially when met with a 3 double-period slots. 3 hours. No, I should say my voice cracked several times.
Then it was staff meeting. But at least I could sit down and rest. The worst thing was the car agent wanted to trade the loan car for another car and had bombarded the phone 3 times while I was away at class. I think he also called the mother because the mother SMS-ed me. The handphone died in the midst of my returning that call when I was asked if it was possible to trade the car by 5 p.m.
No-can-do.
Not as if I could tell him that....I tried to switch on the phone to send a last SMS to the mother and the handphone died in the midst of sending, I didn't know if the SMS was sent at all.
Tired.
Totally didn't feel up to going for Nana's competition. Handphone died. No means of contacting them. No prior instructions on where to meet and how to obtain tickets....
Felt totally wasted and knowing that Tuesday is another long day with running 2 k.m, right in the morning doesn't help.
Switched on the handphone to copy the numbers on my palm. Wanted to call Nana to probe how serious it would be if I didn't turn up. She didn't picked up the phone. Called Boss to see if he knew where the competition was going to be. He didn't, except to pick up tickets from someone where the venue wasn't known yet.
Called Bayi to see if she knew the location. She didn't pick up.
Tried Nana again. She didn't pick up.
Tried Boss again. He said he will meet me at the reception where he is to collect the tickets.
Didn't seem like I could back out anymore.
Was so tired it affected my mood. Wasn't happy.
I got lost along the way. Luckily I drove to Bishan and Thompson area once. Figured my way. Traffic was so bad at the turning to Caldecott Hill that I was stuck, half of my car body dangling in the yellow box. There simply wasn't a break and there was no right turn green sign that flashed. I waited for the length of three traffic light cycles and turned at a red light along with another car.
The only good thing was there wasn't any blaring of horns when I was expecting one.
Tired. Moody. Hungry.
But too tired to eat, too moody to be nice. Was irritated and I could hear it in my voice, could feel it emanating from every pore on my body.
I left at 9 p.m, once the competition was done. I didn't think I could survive the results.
Reached home.
The mother said something about the car, asking me to contact the guy tomorrow and tell him the address of the school. I grunted as I made my way to the room. Told her that I will SMS the guy tomorrow, irritation clouding my voice.
Cannot bear noise.
The mother ended up SMS-ing me a reminder.
Need to get this blackish stuff out. But I don't think I can even bear to hear my own voice. So all I can do is write.
Peace, quiet and solitude needed. But my own voice is filled with nothing but irritation and stress.
Feeling better now.
Going to sleep, wake up early to see what little work can be done before I run.
Here's hoping that the timetable changes such that the run with a first period lesson doesn't clash with a 5-classes, 8-periods day and 3 double-periods back-to-back slots.
Well, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays are better with only 2 periods on Fridays.
So much for social stuff...the event this evening is the last one that I will be doing, or at least on a not-so-frequent basis.
But I know it wasn't entirely the fault of today's hectic busy schedule. I should be able to handle a spike of running around like a headless chicken. It was the lack of Chu-time.
Here's hoping people will not get offended when I do not reply. I feel like leaving the phone in the drawer and uninstalling MSN.
Maybe if it gets worse, I'll do that.
Status: Calm/Tired.
My voice cracked with dis-use over the holidays, especially when met with a 3 double-period slots. 3 hours. No, I should say my voice cracked several times.
Then it was staff meeting. But at least I could sit down and rest. The worst thing was the car agent wanted to trade the loan car for another car and had bombarded the phone 3 times while I was away at class. I think he also called the mother because the mother SMS-ed me. The handphone died in the midst of my returning that call when I was asked if it was possible to trade the car by 5 p.m.
No-can-do.
Not as if I could tell him that....I tried to switch on the phone to send a last SMS to the mother and the handphone died in the midst of sending, I didn't know if the SMS was sent at all.
Tired.
Totally didn't feel up to going for Nana's competition. Handphone died. No means of contacting them. No prior instructions on where to meet and how to obtain tickets....
Felt totally wasted and knowing that Tuesday is another long day with running 2 k.m, right in the morning doesn't help.
Switched on the handphone to copy the numbers on my palm. Wanted to call Nana to probe how serious it would be if I didn't turn up. She didn't picked up the phone. Called Boss to see if he knew where the competition was going to be. He didn't, except to pick up tickets from someone where the venue wasn't known yet.
Called Bayi to see if she knew the location. She didn't pick up.
Tried Nana again. She didn't pick up.
Tried Boss again. He said he will meet me at the reception where he is to collect the tickets.
Didn't seem like I could back out anymore.
Was so tired it affected my mood. Wasn't happy.
I got lost along the way. Luckily I drove to Bishan and Thompson area once. Figured my way. Traffic was so bad at the turning to Caldecott Hill that I was stuck, half of my car body dangling in the yellow box. There simply wasn't a break and there was no right turn green sign that flashed. I waited for the length of three traffic light cycles and turned at a red light along with another car.
The only good thing was there wasn't any blaring of horns when I was expecting one.
Tired. Moody. Hungry.
But too tired to eat, too moody to be nice. Was irritated and I could hear it in my voice, could feel it emanating from every pore on my body.
I left at 9 p.m, once the competition was done. I didn't think I could survive the results.
Reached home.
The mother said something about the car, asking me to contact the guy tomorrow and tell him the address of the school. I grunted as I made my way to the room. Told her that I will SMS the guy tomorrow, irritation clouding my voice.
Cannot bear noise.
The mother ended up SMS-ing me a reminder.
Need to get this blackish stuff out. But I don't think I can even bear to hear my own voice. So all I can do is write.
Peace, quiet and solitude needed. But my own voice is filled with nothing but irritation and stress.
Feeling better now.
Going to sleep, wake up early to see what little work can be done before I run.
Here's hoping that the timetable changes such that the run with a first period lesson doesn't clash with a 5-classes, 8-periods day and 3 double-periods back-to-back slots.
Well, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays are better with only 2 periods on Fridays.
So much for social stuff...the event this evening is the last one that I will be doing, or at least on a not-so-frequent basis.
But I know it wasn't entirely the fault of today's hectic busy schedule. I should be able to handle a spike of running around like a headless chicken. It was the lack of Chu-time.
Here's hoping people will not get offended when I do not reply. I feel like leaving the phone in the drawer and uninstalling MSN.
Maybe if it gets worse, I'll do that.
Status: Calm/Tired.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
彳亍着
Went to play pool today. Settlers was too full to seat us.
I also want to thank Iv Ge for getting me a book from Cambodia. It was totally unexpected and I really appreciate the thought. The cover featured Angkor Wat in backlight, far away in the horizon.
我很喜欢这一个词。。。“彳亍”
行于彳亍。。。
从彳亍到行
先人好有幽默
彳亍。。只因为默望長空深深祈禱着，愿剎那化永恒典雅
我想我的人生以彳亍而非行作为属性
Status: wistful
I also want to thank Iv Ge for getting me a book from Cambodia. It was totally unexpected and I really appreciate the thought. The cover featured Angkor Wat in backlight, far away in the horizon.
One need never say goodbye to Angkor, for its magic will go with you wherever fate and the gods may take you to colour your thoughts and dreams to life's very end.
~ H W Ponder
The holidays has allowed me to drift away from the realities of life, to indulge in dreams. Day-dreaming, one of the most futile activity and yet one of the few luxuries I intermittenly allow myself to savour and indulge in.
Sometimes I dream that I was back in South Africa, France or Cambodia.
***
我很喜欢这一首歌。。。
巫啟賢 - 《邂逅》
入暮的山途獨有我彳亍，落紅鏗然顯凄清
低吟起那幽陰的歌，歌聲抖出了蕭索
歌韻隱隱飄蕩入我波心，牽引我山游覓覓尋
低吟起那幽陰的歌，歌聲抖出了蕭索
歌韻隱隱飄蕩入我波心，牽引我山游覓覓尋
邂逅你炯瑩的星眸，顫動我翩翩入夢
恒古雋永美麗的神話，莫非已降臨此剎那
默望長空我深深祈禱，愿剎那化永恒典雅
恒古雋永美麗的神話，莫非已降臨此剎那
默望長空我深深祈禱，愿剎那化永恒典雅
彳亍: 不读为行【拼音chì chù】
形容小步慢走或时走时停。
在戴望舒的《雨巷》中写到：“像我一样，像我一样，默默的彳亍着……”。
在戴望舒的《雨巷》中写到：“像我一样，像我一样，默默的彳亍着……”。
好久的歌， 恰似能嗅出尘来
简单的曲，美丽的词
童年的时光历历在目
终是想回到那小时候
因为终是觉得往前是如此的彳亍着
我很喜欢这一个词。。。“彳亍”
行于彳亍。。。
一个不小心就容易弄错
行于彳亍却表达截然不同的意义
从彳亍到行
是一个跃不过的空间吗？
人生得于彳亍或于行是否是一个定数
先人好有幽默
彳亍间的距离微妙却又如此的永恒
消除了那渺小的空间会不会只是个错别字？
彳亍。。只因为默望長空深深祈禱着，愿剎那化永恒典雅
我想我的人生以彳亍而非行作为属性
那。。又是谁决定把它编进我人生的蓝图里？
Status: wistful
Thursday, June 12, 2008
2008: The last week of June before work starts piling up
Been rather busy this week.
Aside from the endless seminars that we have to attend...Tuesday. Attempted to have coffee with Lun by the river, curled up with a good book. It failed horribly. We ended up in seats facing the afternoon sun, baking while chatting the afternoon away. So much for wanting to look stylish and educated. Our make-up melted though in Lun's case it could be due to 'oily skin'. But at least our conversations were intellectual ones. In fact I insist.
Here's the look of sympathy on JY's face.
..as the four pots sitting quietly in a row tried to kick up their lids...
And JY has been promoted...from member to permanent member of SEC. =D
*throws confetti.
Methinks that the SEC blog needs to be updated.
Anyway that was on Tuesday. Talks of a run came up there and then and a run was organised on Wednesday. We started in the Botanic Gardens, running around in there, weaving through the paths in twilight, Gan, Lun and I.
Gan and I then ran the Bukit Timah stretch. Along the way, somewhere after Sixth Avenue, I couldn't regulate my breath and yelped for Gan to stop. We ran slower and continued on ....until she said.."We're reaching McDonalds..." (or something to that effect). Once I heard the key word "MCDONALDS", I froze. My will instantly vanished.
*POOF !!!
I halted and started walking. I think I shocked Gan. How she shouldn't have told me McDonald's was up front. I started whining about ice-cream..the 50-cent cone !!!!
Gan continued on ahead and then she too stopped. I saw her faint outline in the not-too-far distance and suddenly a horrid thought struck me. Gan may just refuse to let me eat my ice-cream if I do not start running.
And so I started running towards her. Then I told her the horrible thought that crossed my mind and wanted her assurance that we will stop for ice-cream..the 50-cent cone one....
I couldn't see her reaction in the dark but it must have been...... (-_-")
And so she said that we should sprint towards McDonalds, the last 100 metres or so. Yup, I did until the yellow-red sign board overwhelmed me. I stopped before she did.
We had the 50-cent cone icecream which was no longer 50-cents but 60-cents.
ZZZZ....
As Gan refused to take in the air-con, we continued on, cone in hand. We passed by the bus stop outside Pei Hwa Presbytarian Primary and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a girl staring at me. I furrowed my brows at her. I mean what's so weird about eating an ice-cream in PE attire, hot and sweaty?!
...Then it struck me that she was my student...from BBSS...
Ah sheesh....
Oh well.. I walked Gan home and because there was another McDonald's at her place, I had another 60-cent cone. =D
I should also give myself a pat on the back. I ran for 1 hour and 10-ish minutes... Gan said that it was probably about 9 km. I mean running inside Botanic Gardens and then that crazy long 'mentally-shag' straight road?!!!
Not too bad at all for someone who hardly exercises.
I think Gan was rather impressed too. I know because she didn't jibe at me at all, even though I stopped for ice-cream.
So much for my running buddy cum he-who-thinks-he-is-my-trainer. All he managed to condition me for, was for McDonald's.
Aside from the endless seminars that we have to attend...Tuesday. Attempted to have coffee with Lun by the river, curled up with a good book. It failed horribly. We ended up in seats facing the afternoon sun, baking while chatting the afternoon away. So much for wanting to look stylish and educated. Our make-up melted though in Lun's case it could be due to 'oily skin'. But at least our conversations were intellectual ones. In fact I insist.
Here's a hastily-done collage. It's hideous because we didn't take much pictures and these are all the pictures I have of the afternoon. Yeah..a measly 6. (-_-")
Well then 4/6 of the SEC met up. Gan was late. And so the President made a couple of gentle phone calls to sweetly ask where she was, reminding Gan that she stated that she would arrive by 7.15 p.m.
Here's the look of sympathy on JY's face...as the four pots sitting quietly in a row tried to kick up their lids...And JY has been promoted...from member to permanent member of SEC. =D
*throws confetti.
Methinks that the SEC blog needs to be updated.
Anyway that was on Tuesday. Talks of a run came up there and then and a run was organised on Wednesday. We started in the Botanic Gardens, running around in there, weaving through the paths in twilight, Gan, Lun and I.
Gan and I then ran the Bukit Timah stretch. Along the way, somewhere after Sixth Avenue, I couldn't regulate my breath and yelped for Gan to stop. We ran slower and continued on ....until she said.."We're reaching McDonalds..." (or something to that effect). Once I heard the key word "MCDONALDS", I froze. My will instantly vanished.
*POOF !!!
I halted and started walking. I think I shocked Gan. How she shouldn't have told me McDonald's was up front. I started whining about ice-cream..the 50-cent cone !!!!
Gan continued on ahead and then she too stopped. I saw her faint outline in the not-too-far distance and suddenly a horrid thought struck me. Gan may just refuse to let me eat my ice-cream if I do not start running.
And so I started running towards her. Then I told her the horrible thought that crossed my mind and wanted her assurance that we will stop for ice-cream..the 50-cent cone one....
I couldn't see her reaction in the dark but it must have been...... (-_-")
And so she said that we should sprint towards McDonalds, the last 100 metres or so. Yup, I did until the yellow-red sign board overwhelmed me. I stopped before she did.
We had the 50-cent cone icecream which was no longer 50-cents but 60-cents.
ZZZZ....
As Gan refused to take in the air-con, we continued on, cone in hand. We passed by the bus stop outside Pei Hwa Presbytarian Primary and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a girl staring at me. I furrowed my brows at her. I mean what's so weird about eating an ice-cream in PE attire, hot and sweaty?!
...Then it struck me that she was my student...from BBSS...
Ah sheesh....
Oh well.. I walked Gan home and because there was another McDonald's at her place, I had another 60-cent cone. =D
I should also give myself a pat on the back. I ran for 1 hour and 10-ish minutes... Gan said that it was probably about 9 km. I mean running inside Botanic Gardens and then that crazy long 'mentally-shag' straight road?!!!
Not too bad at all for someone who hardly exercises.
I think Gan was rather impressed too. I know because she didn't jibe at me at all, even though I stopped for ice-cream.
So much for my running buddy cum he-who-thinks-he-is-my-trainer. All he managed to condition me for, was for McDonald's.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Gossamer net
A faint scent of magnolia.
Cream.
A long time since I remembered.
Since I did.
Cream.
A long time since I remembered.
Since I did.
Gladly I pay the price for remembering.
Sadness.
To let you go with nary a trace
into emptiness
'tis the song of silent little bells.
Walking the hallways of the past
merely to let you live again
Yet it's a rhythm I cannot hear.
Tonight is for holding that white rose in silent song.
One song length of silver bells.
That's all I can afford.
You're gone.
But not into oblivion.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Resting the wrist....
Due to my haphazard sleeping patterns, I think I have sprained my wrist. I think it took place slowly over an extended period of time. The bones in the wrist have been making the weirdest 'clicking' sounds.
However, it has progressed into feeling something move and 'pop' if I rotate the wrist slowly. That's the left wrist, by the way. The right has remained at the 'clicking' stage of which I am thankful for. I don't quite know how to explain it. It's like it cannot rotate in a full complete circle (like my ankles due to the twisting over the years), as if the little bones are misaligned or something.
It doesn't hurt but it does feel sort of weird. I have taken to wearing a wrist support at night when I sleep and I do try to keep it on throughout the day. I'm not sure if it is going to work. Cousin-uncle was saying that it might be the keyboard. *shrugs...
Anyway, I've just put on fake nails. It's freaking hard to type in them. I don't know how people with long nails function. I'm supposed to keep them on for not more than 10 days but maybe I will remove them tomorrow. They are just so difficult to work with. I'm typing with them now and the tip of those nails just keep slipping off the keys. I can't type with flat fingers either because the nails are too long and I can't 'run' fast.
Methinks I'm going to take a hiatus from blogging. This is after all the only period where I can afford to have long impractical nails....
However, it has progressed into feeling something move and 'pop' if I rotate the wrist slowly. That's the left wrist, by the way. The right has remained at the 'clicking' stage of which I am thankful for. I don't quite know how to explain it. It's like it cannot rotate in a full complete circle (like my ankles due to the twisting over the years), as if the little bones are misaligned or something.
It doesn't hurt but it does feel sort of weird. I have taken to wearing a wrist support at night when I sleep and I do try to keep it on throughout the day. I'm not sure if it is going to work. Cousin-uncle was saying that it might be the keyboard. *shrugs...
Anyway, I've just put on fake nails. It's freaking hard to type in them. I don't know how people with long nails function. I'm supposed to keep them on for not more than 10 days but maybe I will remove them tomorrow. They are just so difficult to work with. I'm typing with them now and the tip of those nails just keep slipping off the keys. I can't type with flat fingers either because the nails are too long and I can't 'run' fast.
Methinks I'm going to take a hiatus from blogging. This is after all the only period where I can afford to have long impractical nails....
Sunday, June 1, 2008
On the birthday...
To celebrate my birthday, the family went out to eat. It was a riot. First of all, the brother was overly eager to lay his hands on the steering wheel.
Chups: Are you driving later?
Bro: Yes
Chups: Do you know how to get there?
Bro: Yah
Chups: So where am I going?
Bro: .................
I wanted to go Bugis and introduce them to the 麻辣火锅. The brother drove us to....erm.. I don't know where..Moulmein?!! We had to figure a way back to Bugis. I found what happened next extremely amusing.
So we were cruising along and while stopping at a T-junction, we noticed a traffic police tagging after a car. Whoa..must be someone important...
The brother, being a goon, went into the same lane behind the conspicuous white van that served as an escort. It was a red light. From a distance, light batons popped out from either side, waving. That meant that we were not allowed to stop behind the van. It took some time for the brother to register. By then, the car had already rolled to a stop behind the white van. Albeit some distance away but still behind.
The light batons continued to wave. There was much excitement in our car as to why there were light batons, who were in the van, how come we were not allowed to stop behind even though there was a significant distance between our car and the van..yadah yadah...
The brother changed to the left lane. We rolled to a stop beside the van. Immediately, windows popped open and someone placed the blue blinking lamp on top of the van. Heads popped out to stare at us ......and our entire family stared back.
PAUSE.............................................................
Then the commotion started again....how come we were not allowed to stop behind the van, why were they staring at us...who were they escorting, how come they placed the blue lamp on top of the van. Most of the question came from the mother. (-_-") In my own black humour, I explained that they thought that we might be terrorists who may open a machine gun from behind them and they wouldn't be able to see.
The lights turned green. We moved off. I caught sight of the important person in the car that they were escorting. No wonder......
Reading a newspaper, he was oblivious to the curious gazes of the family.
The mother started getting ideas in her head, questions like police knocking on our door in the middle of the night like the Red Army decades ago in China... (-_-") I told her....we have a 'P'-plate. It classifies us under 'Dumbos-who-don't-know-any-better'. Anyway the car wasn't even ours.
But I think it was freaking hilarious. The escorts probably thought it was serious business. They stared at us and what did we do? Our entire family turned our heads to look at them in puzzlement. The mother wondered what would happen if we refused to give way or didn't do what they ask.
Erm..........find ourselves stopped in the middle of the road and have a search conducted on us?
The scene of the escorts in the white van scrutinising us while our entire family turned right to look at them as the car slowly rolled to a stop is hilarious. I'm afraid it will be stuck in my head for quite some time and be re-played in slow-motion.
Thanks for all the well-wishes. =)
Status: amused
Chups: Are you driving later?
Bro: Yes
Chups: Do you know how to get there?
Bro: Yah
Chups: So where am I going?
Bro: .................
I wanted to go Bugis and introduce them to the 麻辣火锅. The brother drove us to....erm.. I don't know where..Moulmein?!! We had to figure a way back to Bugis. I found what happened next extremely amusing.
So we were cruising along and while stopping at a T-junction, we noticed a traffic police tagging after a car. Whoa..must be someone important...
The brother, being a goon, went into the same lane behind the conspicuous white van that served as an escort. It was a red light. From a distance, light batons popped out from either side, waving. That meant that we were not allowed to stop behind the van. It took some time for the brother to register. By then, the car had already rolled to a stop behind the white van. Albeit some distance away but still behind.
The light batons continued to wave. There was much excitement in our car as to why there were light batons, who were in the van, how come we were not allowed to stop behind even though there was a significant distance between our car and the van..yadah yadah...
The brother changed to the left lane. We rolled to a stop beside the van. Immediately, windows popped open and someone placed the blue blinking lamp on top of the van. Heads popped out to stare at us ......and our entire family stared back.
PAUSE.............................................................
Then the commotion started again....how come we were not allowed to stop behind the van, why were they staring at us...who were they escorting, how come they placed the blue lamp on top of the van. Most of the question came from the mother. (-_-") In my own black humour, I explained that they thought that we might be terrorists who may open a machine gun from behind them and they wouldn't be able to see.
The lights turned green. We moved off. I caught sight of the important person in the car that they were escorting. No wonder......
Reading a newspaper, he was oblivious to the curious gazes of the family.
The mother started getting ideas in her head, questions like police knocking on our door in the middle of the night like the Red Army decades ago in China... (-_-") I told her....we have a 'P'-plate. It classifies us under 'Dumbos-who-don't-know-any-better'. Anyway the car wasn't even ours.
But I think it was freaking hilarious. The escorts probably thought it was serious business. They stared at us and what did we do? Our entire family turned our heads to look at them in puzzlement. The mother wondered what would happen if we refused to give way or didn't do what they ask.
Erm..........find ourselves stopped in the middle of the road and have a search conducted on us?
The scene of the escorts in the white van scrutinising us while our entire family turned right to look at them as the car slowly rolled to a stop is hilarious. I'm afraid it will be stuck in my head for quite some time and be re-played in slow-motion.
Thanks for all the well-wishes. =)
Status: amused
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