Pickled 'Chu'

As I get older, amidst all the hustle and bustle in life, I realise I need a peaceful inlet, what people would commonly know as 'Chu' time.

I realise sometimes I don't quite fancy the notion of spending time with people with nothing but superficial topics. And yet that seem to be the only thing we can discuss. And sometimes a phrase is all I have to sum up the entire complicated stuff happening because with people I rarely meet up with, the last thing I want to do is to 'bitch'.

Even if it is allowed, I tend to hide the more exuberant vocal side. Somehow I am just not comfortable anymore with 'bitching' with those I was comfortable 'bitching' with before. Even if it is allowed and you are comfortable with 'bitching' somehow it just wouldn't do to introduce a negative topic into the conversation especially if nothing leads up to it.

I guess the whole point of this entry is I am indeed bugged by an issue. It ain't anything bad. It's just some confusing stuff that I have yet to see the light of. And no, I don't really want to talk about it with people because I don't think I want to hear what other people have to say. Because I'm concerned that it would affect my judgement and right now, I guess the thing I feel most comfortable with is my own judgement even if it is indeed mixed in with uncertainty.

Was with Nana and I was wondering if I should just talk to her. It then struck me that I don't really want to talk to people about it.

I just want to soak myself in some pickled 'Chu' time. But is it age? Or is it because when it comes to certain stuff I don't have anybody right to talk to anymore.