I went to a doctor yesterday. I've been having fever on and off since Saturday. I will take some paracetamol, break into a sweat, feel better only to have a fever again, a few hours later.
It's been going on for a few days.
The doctor says that it is normal and that I just have to let my body build up immunity against the virus. I am supposed to take paracetamol or panadol when the fever comes.
Fantastic.
Except with this heat? I cannot tell if I am feeling hot and warm because of a fever or because of the heat. I also cannot tell if I am sweating because of the humidity or if it is because the body is on a winning streak against the fever because of the medicine.
Fantastic.
I've also been taking different versions of paracetamol because I'm cleaning up the house supply. Doctor-dispensed parcofen, doctor-dispensed paracetamol, over-the-counter panadol, you name it, the Chups ate it. The doctor I saw yesterday didn't prescribe me any paracetamol or its equivalent because I told him I have them in the house.
But it's all gone now. Woo-hoo !!
On a side note, while googling to check if I had spelt 'paracetamol' correctly, I learnt from Wikipedia that it is derived from all things......'coal tar'.
I have been ingesting the by-products of coal tar.
Fantastic.
It's bad enough knowing that there are funny chemicals with potential side effects running amok in the body. Of course it may not be 'coal tar' per se but....I'm going to turn to the Chup's residential pharmacist for help.
Jac..can you please clarify this?
And I don't want to sound whiny here but......I really hate being sick and trust me..having a fever in this weather is the last thing anybody wants.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
A respite from work
FINALLY, a break from work.
I went back on Friday after work to change and headed to Bukit Timah to dine with Gan. Xiao Long Pau..oh man..*slurps
It was then to Chinatown as I had to get some craft stuff to work with. I ended up buying 2 pairs of pumps for work. Practical shoes.
Then I dropped Gan on the way back and fetched the mother.
Today I was bored. I contemplated going for practice but I thought it was dumb since I wasn't involved in the concert in July. Besides though I do not need to hand in anymore lesson plans for the time being, I still needed to mark. I called QJ to see if he wanted lunch and he said he couldn't because he had a paper and he would not be going for practice.
That settled it.
During the early dinner, Iv called to say that theory lesson was cancelled.
I decided to cajole my parents into going out. In the end, we went to Vivo. I think I spent a bomb in two days. I bought 4 books today and went to Marks and Spencer...AGAIN. Plus the craft stuff I got yesterday..considering petrol, food, parking and all, I must have hit $200.
Guilty pleasures.
And I forgot to buy something so I'll have to head out to JP to get the parts.
Ah well...
Lastly, I think I'm coming down with Z's bug. The nose's been dripping non-stop for an entire day and I started to feel feverish on the drive back.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Art is not the intent to shock
During the random blogsurfing of my favourite bloggers, I came across an article of how an artist starved a dog to death in the name of art.
This was what I did.
I read the entry.
I pondered about it.
I signed the petition against it and added a comment, "Art is not the intent to shock"
I googled it.
I then did more pondering.
This was what I did.
I read the entry.
I pondered about it.
I signed the petition against it and added a comment, "Art is not the intent to shock"
I googled it.
I then did more pondering.
But I probably should have googled everything before signing anything.
I suppose I should have googled before I signed the petition but my excuse was that it was 2 a.m. in the morning. When I read that article, I was first outraged which quickly settled into a clinical detachment meaning I questioned my outrage.
What is the difference between having a dog slowly starved to death in the street and having it starved to death in a museum?
If we are questioning the medium, isn't realism one of the highest form of art?
My mind is fixated on that ONE question: What is the difference?
I'm sure there has to be some explanation for it. I can't say it is wrong just because I feel replused. Just because I cringe in disgust at having death manipulated at the hands of a man filled with cruelty?
Guillermo Vargas infringed on the rights of a dog? Is that sufficient explanation?
I never had a dog. Though I do not dislike them, I have to admit that other than the occasional petting and playing of my friends' pets and strays, my affection is weaker for them than other animal-lovers. I wanted to say that Man has more rights over animals. Then I realised that I don't entirely believe in that sentence either because we are a mere part of this Earth.
Perhaps what I truly meant was that Man are stronger than animals. Hence it is not a question of right or wrong. When viewed from another perspective, the question posed is whether Man has a duty to protect and not abuse his strength and position?
Yes. But when it comes to a bigger reason, perhaps in the name of art or education, which side should the balance tip towards?
We all have a duty to fulfill and part of the reason for existing is to fulfil that duty. Hume once said, "I believe that no man ever threw away life while it was worth keeping." Though his discourse was on suicide, that was a phase well-remembered enough for me to recall in the thinking of this issue. If a dog's life cannot be sacrificed for art, then how do we justify sacrificing our people for war?
If a dog was tied up and starved to death in the name of science, will there be lesser outrage? Imagine a scientist stating that his reason for doing so was to study how the organs shut down when deprived of food. Is science any less important than the arts?
What I understand of society as a whole is this. Life is more valuable than art but may not be more valuable than education, should the particular infomation be valuable towards saving future lives However our country, our land, our people, our identity as a people could possibly be more valuable than life itself.
Which is interesting....really...considering that the differences is what we make out of it.
And yes....even after knowing it is a hoax, I will still sign the petition. (Boycott to the presence of Guillermo Vargas "Habacuc" at the Bienal Centroamericana Honduras 2008)
The reason being, I don't like ugly deeds, ideas and actions. And you have to admit no matter how wonderful an idea or reason the artist had, having a mangled dog slowly die in front of you isn't exactly the prettiest of sight.
But the irony is because of that exhibit, the artist is chosen to preseent at the Bienal Centroamerican Honduras 2008 but with a different exhibit. (Note: nobody has been able to prove that the events were misrepresented, other than the artist's and the director's claim that the dog ran away.) Read Starving dog art
With all the controversy, he is going to get even more publicity.
...
Ah well...
Outrage at 'starvation' of a stray dog for art
Gerard Couzens in Madrid
Sunday March 30, 2008Chaining up a dog and forcing it to go without food and water in the name of art is a surefire way of making yourself unpopular with animal lovers. The furore created by Damien Hirst's pickled sheep and Tracey Emin's dirty bed pales into insignificance against the international outrage Guillermo 'Habacuc' Vargas has unleashed.
The Costa Rican has been called an animal abuser, killer and worse over claims that a stray dog called Natividad died of starvation after he displayed it at an exhibition last year at the Códice Gallery in Managua, Nicaragua. Vargas tethered the animal without food and water under the words 'Eres Lo Que Lees' - 'You Are What You Read' - made out of dog biscuits while he played the Sandinista anthem backwards and set 175 pieces of crack cocaine alight in a massive incense burner. More than a million people have signed an online petition urging organisers of this year's event to stop Vargas taking part.
Vargas, 32, said he wanted to test the public's reaction, and insisted none of the exhibition visitors intervened to stop the animal's suffering. He refused to say whether the animal had survived the show, but said he had received dozens of death threats.
Juanita Bermúdez, director of the Códice Gallery, insisted Natividad escaped after just one day. She said: 'It was untied all the time except for the three hours the exhibition lasted and it was fed regularly with dog food Habacuc himself brought in.'Source: The Guardian
I suppose I should have googled before I signed the petition but my excuse was that it was 2 a.m. in the morning. When I read that article, I was first outraged which quickly settled into a clinical detachment meaning I questioned my outrage.
What is the difference between having a dog slowly starved to death in the street and having it starved to death in a museum?
If we are questioning the medium, isn't realism one of the highest form of art?
My mind is fixated on that ONE question: What is the difference?
I'm sure there has to be some explanation for it. I can't say it is wrong just because I feel replused. Just because I cringe in disgust at having death manipulated at the hands of a man filled with cruelty?
Guillermo Vargas infringed on the rights of a dog? Is that sufficient explanation?
I never had a dog. Though I do not dislike them, I have to admit that other than the occasional petting and playing of my friends' pets and strays, my affection is weaker for them than other animal-lovers. I wanted to say that Man has more rights over animals. Then I realised that I don't entirely believe in that sentence either because we are a mere part of this Earth.
Perhaps what I truly meant was that Man are stronger than animals. Hence it is not a question of right or wrong. When viewed from another perspective, the question posed is whether Man has a duty to protect and not abuse his strength and position?
Yes. But when it comes to a bigger reason, perhaps in the name of art or education, which side should the balance tip towards?
We all have a duty to fulfill and part of the reason for existing is to fulfil that duty. Hume once said, "I believe that no man ever threw away life while it was worth keeping." Though his discourse was on suicide, that was a phase well-remembered enough for me to recall in the thinking of this issue. If a dog's life cannot be sacrificed for art, then how do we justify sacrificing our people for war?
If a dog was tied up and starved to death in the name of science, will there be lesser outrage? Imagine a scientist stating that his reason for doing so was to study how the organs shut down when deprived of food. Is science any less important than the arts?
What I understand of society as a whole is this. Life is more valuable than art but may not be more valuable than education, should the particular infomation be valuable towards saving future lives However our country, our land, our people, our identity as a people could possibly be more valuable than life itself.
Which is interesting....really...considering that the differences is what we make out of it.
And yes....even after knowing it is a hoax, I will still sign the petition. (Boycott to the presence of Guillermo Vargas "Habacuc" at the Bienal Centroamericana Honduras 2008)
The reason being, I don't like ugly deeds, ideas and actions. And you have to admit no matter how wonderful an idea or reason the artist had, having a mangled dog slowly die in front of you isn't exactly the prettiest of sight.
But the irony is because of that exhibit, the artist is chosen to preseent at the Bienal Centroamerican Honduras 2008 but with a different exhibit. (Note: nobody has been able to prove that the events were misrepresented, other than the artist's and the director's claim that the dog ran away.) Read Starving dog art
With all the controversy, he is going to get even more publicity.
...
Ah well...
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
victims always win
Sometimes I wonder if it has never been about right or wrong after all but about who's weaker.
Is that why people are getting less resilient?
Because we can't always do the right thing, because we can't always be strong, when we cannot, we are the shattered, we are the victims revelling in sympathetic attention.
So that we can, in our own skewed perceptions of reality, think that we have won.
Is that why people are getting less resilient?
Because we can't always do the right thing, because we can't always be strong, when we cannot, we are the shattered, we are the victims revelling in sympathetic attention.
So that we can, in our own skewed perceptions of reality, think that we have won.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
trying to be positive
My previous post was negative, wasn't it?
But I guess I have to stop using the blog as an outlet for depressing, frustrating stuff. Or else one day I will read through everything and wonder why was I ever so angry and depressive. I've been listening to French songs and it really made me feel better. And I should blog too when I am happy and calm.
I still want to do French and composing and take up music lessons again.
And it's almost 2 years since I've graduated from university in June '06. I've completed driving lessons, gotten my licence and I'm taking music theory lessons right now. Exams are in November. I haven't had any time to prepare yet but here's hoping a space to study will pop up from between now till then.
I've started on enrolling myself in marathons and finishing a 42 km run by 30 seems possible. I AM doing all the things that I want to be doing and the pace seems good enough.
Now that the whole roaring of the storm is behind me, all I hear is the steady tinkling of a fork on a wine glass. Somehow I am hungry again.
But I think I should go and sleep soon. Life is really like running. Sometimes when I think I can no longer go on and it gets so tiring, its becomes all about mental determination. One foot after another and then it doesn't seem so bad and I have no problems continuing until the next wave of how I cannot ..cannot go on...floods again.
But I guess I have to stop using the blog as an outlet for depressing, frustrating stuff. Or else one day I will read through everything and wonder why was I ever so angry and depressive. I've been listening to French songs and it really made me feel better. And I should blog too when I am happy and calm.
I still want to do French and composing and take up music lessons again.
And it's almost 2 years since I've graduated from university in June '06. I've completed driving lessons, gotten my licence and I'm taking music theory lessons right now. Exams are in November. I haven't had any time to prepare yet but here's hoping a space to study will pop up from between now till then.
I've started on enrolling myself in marathons and finishing a 42 km run by 30 seems possible. I AM doing all the things that I want to be doing and the pace seems good enough.
Now that the whole roaring of the storm is behind me, all I hear is the steady tinkling of a fork on a wine glass. Somehow I am hungry again.
But I think I should go and sleep soon. Life is really like running. Sometimes when I think I can no longer go on and it gets so tiring, its becomes all about mental determination. One foot after another and then it doesn't seem so bad and I have no problems continuing until the next wave of how I cannot ..cannot go on...floods again.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Inches apart
Inches apart
Olive green solemn face
Serious concentration for all that remains
Warrior, fighter, guardian it seems
And the cold wind blows and blazes its hurried ways
Icicles sprinkles of sharp shards
penetrate
that dull armour chinks
Dented metal and bruised heart embrace
Frown lines, lined eyes of what secrets shared?
Lost years and a missing touch
Of wronged time
Of wrong stages
Of a closer bond that nothing can ever put in place
A porcelain figurine
lost in the forgotten realm
inches away from the old guardian sword
Apart in hollow darkness
There.
Together.
And not
Saturday, April 5, 2008
losing weight
I think I've been losing weight.
Last week, K commented that I look thinner and JinY agreed when I looked to her for confirmation.
This week, someone at work commented on my waist. Apparently it is very small though I have no idea why someone would say that because no matter how I look at it, it doesn't look small to me.
Today HQ commented that I look thinner too and when she came over to me to ask me to fill in my T-shirt size, she then decided that I should get XXS....and apparently I have lost so much weight that I look unproportionate because now my head seems bigger than my body.... though I figured it could also be because my head is a mass of tangled curls. Then she asked me is it because I sleep late that is why my face retained water....
On one hand, I am glad that I am losing weight. But........have I lost THAT MUCH weight?!
Hmm.....I think I need to get a weighing machine to weigh myself. For all I know, I could have already hit the target of 42 kg which was my weight back in JC without even realising it.
But the thing is....I'm eating..sometimes more than 1 lunch per day. I also drink coffee many times a day with double dosage of Milo... With regards to exercising, other than the one hockey training I've been to and 2 games of Captain balls and running once a week about 2 km with the students really really slowly, I haven't done much exercising in 2 months. I've stopped with running on Sundays.
You mean 5 weeks of practicum can do that to me?!
Wow......maybe by the end of practicum I will look even smaller...maybe with a little more help, my weight can even go below 40?? I'll be back to secondary school size !!!
Ok, I think I'm running tomorrow. I think I need to 'bitch' to WQ anyway, might as well just lose more weight. I think I need to anyway.
Last week, K commented that I look thinner and JinY agreed when I looked to her for confirmation.
This week, someone at work commented on my waist. Apparently it is very small though I have no idea why someone would say that because no matter how I look at it, it doesn't look small to me.
Today HQ commented that I look thinner too and when she came over to me to ask me to fill in my T-shirt size, she then decided that I should get XXS....and apparently I have lost so much weight that I look unproportionate because now my head seems bigger than my body.... though I figured it could also be because my head is a mass of tangled curls. Then she asked me is it because I sleep late that is why my face retained water....
On one hand, I am glad that I am losing weight. But........have I lost THAT MUCH weight?!
Hmm.....I think I need to get a weighing machine to weigh myself. For all I know, I could have already hit the target of 42 kg which was my weight back in JC without even realising it.
But the thing is....I'm eating..sometimes more than 1 lunch per day. I also drink coffee many times a day with double dosage of Milo... With regards to exercising, other than the one hockey training I've been to and 2 games of Captain balls and running once a week about 2 km with the students really really slowly, I haven't done much exercising in 2 months. I've stopped with running on Sundays.
You mean 5 weeks of practicum can do that to me?!
Wow......maybe by the end of practicum I will look even smaller...maybe with a little more help, my weight can even go below 40?? I'll be back to secondary school size !!!
Ok, I think I'm running tomorrow. I think I need to 'bitch' to WQ anyway, might as well just lose more weight. I think I need to anyway.
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