The opening of Sephora

I am absolutely happy.

2 years ago when I was in France, I fell in love with Sephora. They are huge, it is like a make-up boutique except that it's bigger than any make-up stores I've seen. They have rows and rows of everything instead of a few shelves. Wonderful colours, shimmery powders and just shiny stuff.

Then word came that they were going to open here in Singapore. I finally saw it at Taka. today. The interior design follows closely to the stores I saw in France, black counters and shelves. I didn't have a chance to go in because my parents will not take very well to waiting around while I inspect each and everything in wide-eye amazement.

Ok I cannot wait...I simply must find an opportunity to hang around there.

I cannot believe it.. Sephora is here..the departmental store for make-up..truly, I don't think it has ever been done yet!

Non-inclusiveness in the global world

I just saw Gan's post on how some people would put something on platforms such as FB and MSN and yet be cryptic, shrug and say that they don't want to talk about it. I supposed she might have been referring to me in that entry.

Ah..JY and I ignored her question on FB and I shrugged and didn't want to explain last night. JY did the honours because I have just finished telling Lun about David's tragedy a day ago and I didn't want to talk about it anymore.

In fact telling Lun about it resulted in us both feeling very sad and I had to shut some part of myself so that I could relate the incident in a cold, clinical and detached way so as not to lose control in the Japanese restaurant.

I didn't think I would be able to have that much control to relate it again.

So why did JY and I use FB then. She wasn't on MSN that time. We did call each other to see what each other had but it got too difficult. Talking about it was hard, silence on the phone was equally unbearable when it feels as though we should say something and each had nothing to say. Hanging up on each other wasn't an option either when closure should always be gently introduced.

Maybe FB was right because it provided us with a platform where we could communicate with each other and yet not have to face each other directly. I don't think it was our top priority to announce to 400-over people that something was going on. Besides how do you explain death and pain like that without demeaning the tragedy itself?

Ah yes..perhaps most would think that because posting things on public platforms are not private, they should be inclusive.

But you can no more include the world than you can exclude yourself.

Sadness and grief has always been something private. We put on smiles for the world even if we feel our heart burdened with many a failings, many a regret, many a sadness.

Maybe questions aren't replied because not everything has to be inclusive and sadness isn't for everybody.

A tribute to Eva Cassidy

I just came back from Jazz @ Southbridge. One of the songs that the singer Alemay sang was "Autumn Leaves". I guess after hearing Eva Cassidy's rendition of the song, nothing could beat it, not even the original French version.

I came back and re-watched her Youtube videos. Still as touching as I remembered. I must have watched and listened to her countless times. I didn't think she would still be able to move me so.

Eva Cassidy has been dead for more than 10 years. Yet she is remembered fondly through the sincerity she expressed in her songs. She has also been gaining fans for didn't I stumble upon her and fell in love with her songs before I read up about her and realised that she wasn't around any more. Her songs seemed even more precious and poignant to me then. One timeless voice.

A lot of the comments left by people say that God must have wanted her to join the angels above, for her work here was done...how she lived inside her song. I know what that latter comment meant.

With most songs the songs is part of the singer, the songs never appear bigger than the singer themselves but with Eva Cassidy, her songs always feels like they are so much more than her as if they transcend almost everything, even Eva Cassidy herself.

In the wee hours of the morning, listening to her rendition of "Danny Boy" makes me feel a lot:

Oh Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountainside.
The summer's gone, and all the roses (are) falling.
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.

But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow,
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow.
Oh Danny Boy, Oh Danny Boy, I love you so.

But if you come and all the flow'rs are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be,
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an Ave there for me.

And I shall hear, though soft ye tread above me
And then my grave will warmer, sweeter be,
For you will bend and tell me that you love me,
And I shall sleep in peace until you come to me.


Alternative lyrics for last two lines:

And you'll not fail to tell me that you love me,
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.

Who and what determines who lives and dies?

I just came back from Rin's wedding in Sitiawan.

She fetched us to the bus station this morning. On the way there, she received a phone call regarding an accident. I was a bit taken aback by the questions she asked upon receiving the call, such as if the was bus badly mangled up, how many people died?

One of the guests had taken the bus last night. At the bus station, they were frantically calling around for news. When they got news that the accident did seem serious; the bus had collided with a tree, in my head I was envisioning a shattered windscreen, not a mangled metal mess of a bus.

The parents called when I was almost reaching the checkpoint. News had finally gotten to Singapore and they were worried that I was on the bus. They said it was bad but they didn't know if there was any Singaporeans involved. When I got back home and saw the pictures on the television, I was shocked.

I kept praying that Rin's friend was ok. I kept praying so hard. It simply never occurred to me that it would be that serious. The fates couldn't be that cruel. How could it be? He had just attended a joyous event - a wedding, for heaven's sake. How could it be so ironic, so cruel? It didn't seem right, not right at all....

I went out to buy the papers. I heaved a sigh of relief when the evening Chinese papers did not report his name, neither did the news on the internet. There was still hope, after all, one of the forums I turned up said that the dead were all Malaysians. Then came the 10 p.m news. A chill ran down my spine when the broadcaster reported out a Hongkonger who was a Singapore PR who works in the hospital...I couldn't catch the details, was he dead or were they merely trying to report the Singaporeans who were involved in the accident?

I only know that his name is David, his parents are in Hong Kong and he was on that bus, seated at the back.

I rushed to google for news. As I searched and read one report after another, I was still hoping that Rin's friend wasn't him. There could be another MO on the bus. Rin's friend could be Singaporean whose parents were vacationing in Hong Kong.

He was seated at the back after all, didn't they say that the impact was at the front?

Worried for Rin, I called her Singapore number, her Malaysian number as well as her best friend Xinyi. I also called Shupei. I reached their voice mails.

I swung from envisioning the worst-case scenario to telling myself to be optimistic by trying to tell myself that I am a pessimist. I didn't know if I was feeling worried and morose or calm but silly. Was David's last name Ho? How could it be? He was coming back from a wedding...he was seated at the back.

I slept at 2 a.m. and woke up at 6 a.m. I didn't know why either. I tried looking for news again but nothing turned up. I searched every few minutes while surfing about randomly. I went to sleep and around 10 a.m, JY messaged with a search result. His full name had came out in a HongKong news site.

"David Ho C.S, a Hong Kong resident, was a surgeon who practiced in a hospital in Singapore."What we didn't want to see come pass, did.

He was the only one out of the ten who died, the only one who wasn't a Malaysian. He was only 2 hours away from Singapore.

I don't know him personally but all of us should have came back safely. We had gone there together, we should have came back together too, all of us.

Waves of thoughts, feelings and despair keeps washing over me. But I don't want to contemplate about the fragility of life, even if it keeps threatening to engulf me again like it did before. I don't want to think about the lack of control we have over our lives. Who and what determines who lives and dies? Why is it so ironic, cruel and unfair?

No. Life cannot be that cruel. The dead must be in a better place if they are not here with us.

David, with all my heart, I'm certain that you are in heaven.

Expensive arcade games as cheap thrills?

After a week of first aid course, the test was today. My hands hurt from doing the CPR on dummies. It doesn't help that the instructor thinks that I should press down harder.

Anyway I think we all passed except that I don't know if we will be up to standard in a real situation. I am so scared that in the event that we have to do a head-tilt-chin-lift for CPR, the casualty suffers from a fractured neck and I end up breaking his neck. *shudders

The family picked me up and we went for lunch. I contemplated going for orchestra but was too lazy and tired to. I ended up going home to sleep.

I woke up for dinner and then got a call from Nana who asked if I wanted to go play arcade games. We met at Marina Square. I did win something but ended up spending a lot of money in the process. Perhaps I should put it this way. I won something within forking out out 20 bucks to the machine. However I ended putting more to try again. *grrrr.

I got a Winnie-the-Pooh in hawaiian dress. I think he's gay because he is wearing a skirt..haha.

Nana was super annoyed that she didn't get anything and so we rushed to Plaza Sing to try over there. In the end she did get something; some weird Mickey Mouse pillow shirt.

We had supper (although we shouldn't) and chatted over ideas and other general conversation stuff. We also had to wait like freaking long for NR5. Yucks. We waited for almost an hour I think. When I got back, it was raining and so I also had to run in the rain at 3 a.m. *grrr

Ah well....once in a while doing crazy things like this keeps me sane.

After talking to Nana, I always feel like doing handicrafts again..hehe

Obama as President of the United States

KY passed me a link: I Didn't Vote For Obama Today

In case you are too lazy to click on the link, here is the article.

I Didn't Vote For Obama Today
November 4, 2008, 9:37AM

I have a confession to make.

I did not vote for Barack Obama today.

I've openly supported Obama since March. But I didn't vote for him today.

I wanted to vote for Ronald Woods. He was my algebra teacher at Clark Junior High in East St. Louis, IL. He died 15 years ago when his truck skidded head-first into a utility pole. He spent many a day teaching us many things besides the Pythagorean Theorem. He taught us about Medgar Evers, Ralph Abernathy, John Lewis and many other civil rights figures who get lost in the shadow cast by Martin Luther King, Jr.

But I didn't vote for Mr. Woods.

I wanted to vote for Willie Mae Cross. She owned and operated Crossroads Preparatory Academy for almost 30 years, educating and empowering thousands of kids before her death in 2003. I was her first student. She gave me my first job, teaching chess and math concepts to kids in grades K-4 in her summer program. She was always there for advice, cheer and consolation. Ms. Cross, in her own way, taught me more about walking in faith than anyone else I ever knew.

But I didn't vote for Ms. Cross.

I wanted to vote for Arthur Mells Jackson, Sr. and Jr. Jackson Senior was a Latin professor. He has a gifted school named for him in my hometown. Jackson Junior was the pre-eminent physician in my hometown for over 30 years. He has a heliport named for him at a hospital in my hometown. They were my great-grandfather and great-uncle, respectively.

But I didn't vote for Prof. Jackson or Dr. Jackson.

I wanted to vote for A.B. Palmer. She was a leading civil rights figure in Shreveport, Louisiana, where my mother grew up and where I still have dozens of family members. She was a strong-willed woman who earned the grudging respect of the town's leaders because she never, ever backed down from anyone and always gave better than she got. She lived to the ripe old age of 99, and has a community center named for her in Shreveport.

But I didn't vote for Mrs. Palmer.

I wanted to vote for these people, who did not live to see a day where a Black man would appear on their ballots on a crisp November morning.

In the end, though, I realized that I could not vote for them any more than I could vote for Obama himself.

So who did I vote for?

No one.

I didn't vote. Not for President, anyway.

Oh, I went to the voting booth. I signed, was given my stub, and was walked over to a voting machine. I cast votes for statewide races and a state referendum on water and sewer improvements.

I stood there, and I thought about all of these people, who influenced my life so greatly. But I didn't vote for who would be the 44th President of the United States.

When my ballot was complete, except for the top line, I finally decided who I was going to vote for - and then decided to let him vote for me. I reached down, picked him up, and told him to find Obama's name on the screen and touch it.

And so it came to pass that Alexander Reed, age 5, read the voting screen, found the right candidate, touched his name, and actually cast a vote for Barack Obama and Joe Biden.

Oh, the vote will be recorded as mine. But I didn't cast it.

Then again, the person who actually pressed the Obama box and the red "vote" button was the person I was really voting for all along.

It made the months of donating, phonebanking, canvassing, door hanger distributing, sign posting, blogging, arguing and persuading so much sweeter.

So, no, I didn't vote for Barack Obama. I voted for a boy who now has every reason to believe he, too, can grow up to be anything he wants...even President.

I was profoundly moved. It reminded me of the days where I really did believe that a child can grow up to become anything he wants to be.

Don't ask me what do I believe now. I don't quite know. All I know is deep down in my heart, it is my most fervent wish that a child CAN grow up to become anything he wants to be.

I am happy that Obama won. Perhaps he will usher in a new era of change. After all he is going down in history as the first African American president.

One who overcame all odds to be president.

A child who did grow up to be the President of the United States.

Trying out the arcade machine.

I met up with Branded today and we had a long chat over dinner. I had coffee which wasn't a good idea. I will be awake till late tonight.

Anyway after coffee I wanted to try out an arcade trick that Nana taught. I tried it out at one of the machines that allows for the capture of plush toys. I changed 10 bucks, if it didn't work, then that was that.

I chose a machine that was filled with cute hamsters. I wasted one dollar making sense of the machine. I haven't tried it in years and when I tried it in my primary school days, I always thought it was a scam because it seemed like the only way one could out win the machine was to shake it and nobody was allowed to do that.

Irritatingly, a crowd of people gathered and I was nervous. I ended up pushing the hamster to an even more unlikely position to be captured. Miffed, I moved away and was contemplating whether or not to try again. In the end Branded was saying there wasn't any harm since I've already changed the money. Yeah, I was prepared to the lose ten bucks anyway.

I tried again at another machine. It took me 3 tries and I got the plush toy !!! I am too lazy to post up a picture of it. I googled the company name and subsequently managed to ID the soft toy but I couldn't get the exact picture. Here is a variation of the toy:

It is a Banpresto 'Chopper'. Banpresto was a sub-contractor of Sega and is now partially owned by Bandai. It now focuses on prize machines.

Now about Chopper, as I do not follow Japanese entertainment stuff much, I had to really look it up. Chopper was an ostracised reindeer due to the blue nose. It ate a magic fruit and then attained cognitive processes. I think the character is either from an animation or a game. Not much information is available from the 15 minutes spent researching on the character.

Nana was mentioning that plush toys in the arcades can be limited editions, not available elsewhere. She intends to wrap things up and sell them in the future. Maybe I should start doing the same.

I spent 8 bucks, out of which 3 bucks was at the machine of 'Chopper'.

I am vastly amused, not to mention happy and imbued with a sense of achievement. Haha.

Wherein I try to reassure myself of responsibility

Does irresponsibility stem from selfishness?

When is it not right to place your rights and happiness above duty? When it stops being fair? When it inconveniences others?

But then it raises the question of what is fair? Inherent in the question is what exactly is good?

If work is distributed do you fulfill your committment no matter what or do you shirk it the minute you can?

Sometimes I think my most fundamentals is to 'never take the easy way out'. Yet I feel that I compromise myself because although I try not to inconvenience others, I sometimes end up as a solution for others.

It's times like this where I once again lament the use of morals.

But I guess we all do what we can and hope that recognition comes. If it doesn't, we just have to hope that what we have is enough.

A short review on moisturisers

I recently indulged in hand lotions and hand creams. $106 for L'Occitane Shea Butter Hand Cream (150 mL) and Shea Butter Extra Gentle Lotion for Hands & Body - Milk (300 mL)

I haven't had the time to pamper myself. Do I really need to spend $106 on 450 mL on hand lotions and creams? I'm not altogether sure. But I do know that I have been obsessively slathering my hands with lotions and creams ever since I've stopped marking or doing work with my hands. It gives me a tremendous amount of pleasure to do so. It's an obsession. I have enough creams and lotions to last me a fair number of years but I still buy them.

I like the scent of nice-smelling hands. That is also why I hate washing dishes and chopping garlic. After mincing garlic, the smell lingers for days and unlike the fresh zesty smell it changes into an unpleasant almost disgusting smell so much so that I cannot bear to even have my hands in front of me.

If I do have so much lotions and creams oh why pray tell do I need to spend $106 on 2 extra tube and bottles? That's because hand lotions and creams are a niche area. They are my sinful indulgence and I always have to have something everywhere and I cannot bear to see one finishing and not buy another to replace it.

I am finishing this soon.

It's actually a 30 mL travel size tube but I couldn't manage to find the picture. The rose scent is strong on applying and I always worry that it will annoy the people around me. It gradually fades into a gentle scent.

The Honey and Lemon Hand Cream from L'Occitane really does smell of lemons and honey. It was ok for application but I wouldn't get that again as there are hand creams with scents that appeals more to me.The Cherry Blossom Hand Cream is one that I have been saving up. I had gotten the limited edition of the three 30mL Hand Cream last year.
I haven't tried it yet. I thought I like the scent too much to use it initially but I think my preferences has swung to light milk scented hand creams. Simple scents. I probably will get around to using it soon.

I have also tried most of the hand creams from Crabtree and Evelyn.

My favourite scent will be the Nantucket Briar which reminds me of the clean scent of British soap. It used to be La Source which follows the scent of most sea-related ocean scent but it got to be too cliche for me. Lavender always reminded me of washing detergents although I got it for a friend because she said that that scent calms her. I still have a 100 mL of Rosewater. The scent is quite similar to the Rose Velvet from L'Occitane except that I think upon application, the Rose Velvet somehow diffuses faster. I am guessing that is because the water content is higher.

I was recently asked if expensive hand creams do make a difference. Frankly, they may not. What makes a good hand cream or lotion is in its ability to penetrate the skin as well as prevent moisture loss. That will mean the lotion or cream should contain a good ratio of water as well as oil content for it to work. You may recall that the human cell have hydrophilic and hydrophobic parts to it. Anyway I digressed. The effectiveness of hand creams and lotions may vary for individual because some of our hands are drier than others.

I have dry skin. Some cheaper drugstore brands do work perfectly fine for me whereas some do not and cover my skin like some oily gook. Granted that it contains the preventing moisture loss part, it is still simply too icky for me to bear.

L'occitane hand creams and lotions experienced so far tend to be more absorbing and less greasy compared to Crabtree and Evelyn. However I suspect that Crabtree and Evelyn lasts longer for me.

Other cheaper brands that I've found to work perfectly includes Cyclax. My personal favourite is the Cyclax Aloe Vera moisturiser (I couldn't find a better picture). The company was granted the Royal Warrant by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II in 1961. Supposedly Royal Warrants are a mark of recognition to people or companies who have regularly supplied goods or services to certain members of the Royal Family. It used to be available at most John Little outlets but I haven't checked if they still carry it. You can get a fair bit for less than 10 bucks if there is a sale.

You can probably tell that it is the cheaper lotion on application. For one, the scent is thinner and has less depth to it. The texture is light, fast-absorbing, definitely a water-based moisturiser. However the penetration is there. In fact I vary my moisturisers a lot based on mood and stocks at hand. In my compulsive-obsessive nights when I was studying for my Uni. exams, I would actually apply the Cyclax Aloe Vera moisturisers before applying a heavier lotion or cream.

I've also used The Body Shop Body Butter. Now, that is extremely moisturising, probably good for overseas where the humidity is way lower. In Singapore, the Body Butter can be a bit overpowering and uncomfortable if you do not sleep in an air-conditioned room or not used to moisturisers.

The rest of the moisturisers that I have used like Vaseline, Jergens, Nivea and Johnson & Johnson are too way back for me to give a fair and adequate review. Jergens was pretty good. Nivea and Johnson & Johnson had pleasant scents though I remembered the latter as being too manufactured for my taste. However I would like to try possibly the Nivea one as I remembered the scent as being extremely pleasant.

After the long entry, I guess it is now time to go and re-apply my moisturisers. Toodles.

错

时间早已剥夺了思念的权利
灰尘把空气都弄沉重了
又怕干净你也完全不见了
你就快消失了
就快我也不晓得曾失去什么了
还抱着记事本又怎么样呢？
哭是因为尘埃太沉重了
一定不是因为太想你的
一片刻我也感觉自己消失了
抱紧自己却任由时间吹散到地
记忆散落

失去离开了
空气变更沉了

时间为我做的决定

或许一开始就只有我错了

** I must say that there is no breakup, I am not undergoing any romantic entanglement. So don't ask me where all these are coming from. I have no idea.

Aphyxiated

My room is terribly messy. I guess I can begin the holidays by starting to clean everything up, control what goes into my mouth and run again. I still haven't quite got over my preference for solitude even though I've started meeting up with people. There just seems so much to do that I'm selfishly placing myself before others. I still have books to read and shows to watch and so many things I want to do by myself.

Someone told me I need a personal life.

I guess they don't understand that my personal life entails a breathing space, away from the restraints of a maddening crowd. It is getting harder to find that little window for the fresh air in this busy city life.

Summer of Love

They wonder what's going on in your minds.

I know its one psychedelic season.

Of warm summers, happiness and love.

Heightened awareness of sensory delight.

But how reality played you false.

The nights grow cold and grey needles fall.

How good are your mind shields?

To carry on as the physical fail?

Unaware that the cost of that lie

reveals through the gradual shifts

to the ugliness of your face.

And you slowly die.

You will surely die.

In that psychedelic season

where they injected milk to counteract poison.

In that psychedelic season
whe年 you tried to find Utopia.

In that psychedelic season

you called Summer of Love

there was no cure

for self-betrayal

not when you traded your future.

失拍

每次以为得到了平静

心却起涟漪

微微震的波动

跟不上自己设定的频率

Reflection of the day.

Sometimes, like today, I think that the human heart is capable of more love and forgiveness than I think possible.

We have the amazing ability to shield ourselves from the horrors of our past and perhaps that is what gives us our hope for the future.

My damaged self

Pain,

comes in all shapes and form,

the poison,

the chronic disease I have learnt to live with.

The void within
is something I welcome
heart and soul.
What could be potentially incapacitating for the heart
is nothing but a dull ache now.

I've learnt to keep alive by taking in shallow breaths.

'08 Jay's New Song 稻香

《稻香》
词：周杰伦 曲：周杰伦

对这个世界如果你有太多的抱怨
跌倒了就不敢继续往前走
为什麼人要这麼的脆弱 堕落
请你打开电视看看
多少人为生命在努力勇敢的走下去
我们是不是该知足
珍惜一切 就算没有拥有

还记得你说家是唯一的城堡 随著稻香河流继续奔跑
微微笑 小时候的梦我知道
不要哭让萤火虫带著你逃跑 乡间的歌谣永远的依靠
回家吧 回到最初的美好

不要这麼容易就想放弃 就像我说的
追不到的梦想 换个梦不就得了
为自己的人生鲜艳上色 先把爱涂上喜欢的颜色
笑一个吧 功成名就不是目的
让自己快乐快乐这才叫做意义
童年的纸飞机 现在终於飞回我手里
所谓的那快乐 赤脚在田里追蜻蜓追到累了
偷摘水果被蜜蜂给叮到怕了 谁在偷笑呢
我靠著稻草人吹著风唱著歌睡著了
哦 哦 午后吉它在虫鸣中更清脆
哦 哦 阳光洒在路上就不怕心碎
珍惜一切 就算没有拥有

还记得你说家是唯一的城堡 随著稻香河流继续奔跑
微微笑 小时候的梦我知道
不要哭让萤火虫带著你逃跑 乡间的歌谣永远的依靠
回家吧 回到最初的美好

Bokor Hill undergoing renovating

It was lucky that I managed to get up Bokor Hill in December 2007.

In January 2008, work started on Bokor Hill Station and it was closed to visitors. The old French casino and hotel is going to be refurbished and they are going to add a new hotel. Recently, they started to allow limited access in August 2008, to those who are going as part of a tour group or with a tour guide.

The benefit however is that road conditions up the mountains have been improved, reducing travel times.

When I read that, my heart ached a little for the commercialising of a quaint little surreal place. I was so close to missing all of that.

Sometimes ruins should be left alone just like how some things in life should be left on their own.

Rhythmic confusion

There's a sea floating in my head
Tug and wave
The moon hungs from below
Waiting for all the grace to mend
And the roaring of the rain
Whips past before my eyes
Little lithe sorrows too fast for me to hold.
So I'm breathing now.
So I'm learning the meaning of an echo.
If you remove the blue,
leaving a shade paler
how long is there to white?
Through the rain that pierces the sea
through the chaos that ripples the waves
Standing right there
In a world where ripples don't fade.

Futility

Like a silent movie,
white steam,
white cup in isolation
So heaven is where softness fades to
Away from this reason
As of this world
a trial, to fold anytime
A cry, a heartbeat away
Muffled and fast as it can be
Prevention eludes
Salvation deludes
What does await?
A wounded bird struggles to reach the sun.

Wherein I get in touch with my thinking self

Far be it for me to be a hinderance
so set the blossoms lightly scatter
across the windswept truths of forgone summers

Let autumn draw near, of warm rosy hues,
Of faint fragrant quiet scents
Still, quiet
Entwining the steady rhythm of my heart

On being a non-conformist

Yesterday I felt that I was myself as in whole and complete. A funny feeling that was.

I'm coping with work and I am learning how to re-structure and re-organise my time. Recently I was told that I have managed to surprise someone 3 times.

Non-conformist.

Sometimes I like being different from what is expected of me.

Yeah..sometimes...

What can a PSLE certificate do?

I was just thinking....if the students I'm teaching now, quit school...

They will only have a PSLE certificate which is practically useless now and will be totally phased out in a decade.

They will be stuck with jobs that pays below $1000 for life? With increasing inflation that will erode away the value? An average of 3% inflation per year will in 10 year's time erode away 30% of that $1000 and this year's inflation rate is already what...6%?!!!

A twist in the Bhutan perspectivet

I wished the celebrity couple had never held their wedding in Bhutan.

Now, I am not so sure that I want to go there anymore.

Ok, more like, I think it is still one of the place where I have to be, except that a little bit of the magic and charm is lost. I will be part of the massive hordes of tourist that will be visiting Bhutan simply because someone famous has held their wedding there.

Wynner's concert

Nana had tickets to Wynner's concert over the weekend, so we went. I picked her up from Kallang MRT and we went off in search for dinner. The area was unbelievably packed. We went from restaurant to restaurant and all they could tell us was that they couldn't give us a table without a reservation. (-_-")

In the end we ended up eating Indian food at Vansh. The lighting makes me look good, as you can tell from the collage of pictures below. HAHA. I think the food was ok but we were in a rush and didn't took the effort to properly savour the food. It tastes ok. However I must admit I am not exactly the most enthusiastic fan of Indian food and so cannot say for sure that I will patronise the restaurant because I am uber in love with the food.

The concert was not exactly exciting for me. They were conversing in Cantonese the entire concert and dialects are so not my thing. I can profess to understand a bit of Hokkien but Cantonese is so out of my league other than the Ngoh Ai Loi (I love you), Ho Mm Ho (How are you guys or literally translated as 'good or not'.

The songs were retro 80's so there were a couple of English songs and one or two Cantonese songs sounded familiar. Anyway just in case anybody is curious, Kenny B still looks freaking hot. Alan Tam has a tummy !!!

Initially I thought that nobody would be THAT enthusiastic but I was wrong. The crowd was quite worked up and I heard that the concert was a success, at least 90% of the tickets were sold out.

Ah well, Nana and I were contemplating a movie after that but I went back to school in the morning to settle some stuff and to see a student so I was pretty tired. We went over to a cinema in Orchard and all they were showing were Hancock, Hellboy2 and Batman plus maybe 1 or 2 other unappealing movie. I was only interested in Batman but the next screening was at 2 a.m. so *shrugs..we went to do a little shopping and I got a big Winnie-the-Pooh cup so I can eat ta-pao food in.

There are other minute details but I'm too lazy to blog about them. It was quite a good weekend I had. So I hope many had one too. :)

悬

唯一的庇护是距离

与天与地

一天又一点

越抗拒越放松绳子拉长距离

拔河

下一秒

往前还是后退

倾向又转身背对

怎么就像飞蛾扑火

许着不该许的愿望
就悬困在空中

两半心的摇椅

摇摇蓝蓝

忽高忽低

与天空地面的拔河

近天近地

伸手摘星无法如愿

脚踏实地无法情愿

falling,smiling

Falling slowly into entrainment

Sunshine coming through

Little shared moments

Sparkle and smile

Feeling better...

Today was better but my legs ached terribly, all the way to the small of my back. I have no idea why. It couldn't be the run because the 9 k.m. with Gan didn't give me much of a problem and it was only about 2 k.m. today. The area around my knees ache especially the back of them. I think it is because I am not used to standing for long periods of time. And to think that I wore flats yesterday and sport shoes today. I think heels would have damaged my legs already.

The car has been changed. It is now a cool white. A 2.0 litre car and the top can open a little. It looks a bit weird though because that part is black. I was vastly amused to realised that all the fuss yesterday and today...and they wanted to trade that horrid blue for this white one. But come to think of it, I'm missing it ...a little now. After all it has been ferrying me and my stuff to school and places for the past 4 months. At least it was the one that accompanied me for most of the practicum.

Still tired. Came home to collapse after dinner. Slept and then woke up to staple worksheets. I couldn't send them for printing in time and the machine ran out of bullets.

Still feel like sleeping. Maybe I will after I finished stapling them. I've finished a class. Somehow, this reminds me of practicum. (-_-")

There are lots of things to learn and do. Most of them are shoved to the back of my head where I hope I will remember them. There hasn't even been time for me to figure out and start with the new laptop. Right now, it is sitting dismally on the table.

However some of the classes that I've been to seem rather nice. I just hope that they do stay that way.

Anyway, Nana got into the next round of SuperBand. Isn't that great?

Tomorrow....only 6 periods !!! Woo-hoo

Needing more time to myself

It has been a bad way to start the term. The term kicks off with a timetable that puts my heaviest workload on Mondays and Tuesdays coupled with a staff meeting half an hour after my last lesson of the day at 3 a.m.

My voice cracked with dis-use over the holidays, especially when met with a 3 double-period slots. 3 hours. No, I should say my voice cracked several times.

Then it was staff meeting. But at least I could sit down and rest. The worst thing was the car agent wanted to trade the loan car for another car and had bombarded the phone 3 times while I was away at class. I think he also called the mother because the mother SMS-ed me. The handphone died in the midst of my returning that call when I was asked if it was possible to trade the car by 5 p.m.

No-can-do.

Not as if I could tell him that....I tried to switch on the phone to send a last SMS to the mother and the handphone died in the midst of sending, I didn't know if the SMS was sent at all.

Tired.

Totally didn't feel up to going for Nana's competition. Handphone died. No means of contacting them. No prior instructions on where to meet and how to obtain tickets....

Felt totally wasted and knowing that Tuesday is another long day with running 2 k.m, right in the morning doesn't help.

Switched on the handphone to copy the numbers on my palm. Wanted to call Nana to probe how serious it would be if I didn't turn up. She didn't picked up the phone. Called Boss to see if he knew where the competition was going to be. He didn't, except to pick up tickets from someone where the venue wasn't known yet.

Called Bayi to see if she knew the location. She didn't pick up.

Tried Nana again. She didn't pick up.

Tried Boss again. He said he will meet me at the reception where he is to collect the tickets.

Didn't seem like I could back out anymore.

Was so tired it affected my mood. Wasn't happy.

I got lost along the way. Luckily I drove to Bishan and Thompson area once. Figured my way. Traffic was so bad at the turning to Caldecott Hill that I was stuck, half of my car body dangling in the yellow box. There simply wasn't a break and there was no right turn green sign that flashed. I waited for the length of three traffic light cycles and turned at a red light along with another car.

The only good thing was there wasn't any blaring of horns when I was expecting one.

Tired. Moody. Hungry.

But too tired to eat, too moody to be nice. Was irritated and I could hear it in my voice, could feel it emanating from every pore on my body.

I left at 9 p.m, once the competition was done. I didn't think I could survive the results.

Reached home.

The mother said something about the car, asking me to contact the guy tomorrow and tell him the address of the school. I grunted as I made my way to the room. Told her that I will SMS the guy tomorrow, irritation clouding my voice.

Cannot bear noise.

The mother ended up SMS-ing me a reminder.

Need to get this blackish stuff out. But I don't think I can even bear to hear my own voice. So all I can do is write.

Peace, quiet and solitude needed. But my own voice is filled with nothing but irritation and stress.

Feeling better now.

Going to sleep, wake up early to see what little work can be done before I run.

Here's hoping that the timetable changes such that the run with a first period lesson doesn't clash with a 5-classes, 8-periods day and 3 double-periods back-to-back slots.

Well, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays are better with only 2 periods on Fridays.

So much for social stuff...the event this evening is the last one that I will be doing, or at least on a not-so-frequent basis.

But I know it wasn't entirely the fault of today's hectic busy schedule. I should be able to handle a spike of running around like a headless chicken. It was the lack of Chu-time.

Here's hoping people will not get offended when I do not reply. I feel like leaving the phone in the drawer and uninstalling MSN.

Maybe if it gets worse, I'll do that.

Status: Calm/Tired.

只想不被打扰

给我个空间

我只想静静的，不想被打扰

我想做一道光阴，一个影子

在风吹过时

掠过那么一霎那

静静的，然后消失了

彳亍着

Went to play pool today. Settlers was too full to seat us.

I also want to thank Iv Ge for getting me a book from Cambodia. It was totally unexpected and I really appreciate the thought. The cover featured Angkor Wat in backlight, far away in the horizon.

One need never say goodbye to Angkor, for its magic will go with you wherever fate and the gods may take you to colour your thoughts and dreams to life's very end.

~ H W Ponder

The holidays has allowed me to drift away from the realities of life, to indulge in dreams. Day-dreaming, one of the most futile activity and yet one of the few luxuries I intermittenly allow myself to savour and indulge in.

Sometimes I dream that I was back in South Africa, France or Cambodia.

***

我很喜欢这一首歌。。。

巫啟賢 - 《邂逅》

入暮的山途獨有我彳亍，落紅鏗然顯凄清
低吟起那幽陰的歌，歌聲抖出了蕭索
歌韻隱隱飄蕩入我波心，牽引我山游覓覓尋

邂逅你炯瑩的星眸，顫動我翩翩入夢
恒古雋永美麗的神話，莫非已降臨此剎那
默望長空我深深祈禱，愿剎那化永恒典雅

彳亍: 不读为行【拼音chì chù】

形容小步慢走或时走时停。
在戴望舒的《雨巷》中写到：“像我一样，像我一样，默默的彳亍着……”。

~ http://www.baike.baidu.com/

好久的歌， 恰似能嗅出尘来

简单的曲，美丽的词

童年的时光历历在目

终是想回到那小时候

因为终是觉得往前是如此的彳亍着

我很喜欢这一个词。。。“彳亍”

行于彳亍。。。

一个不小心就容易弄错

行于彳亍却表达截然不同的意义

从彳亍到行

是一个跃不过的空间吗？

人生得于彳亍或于行是否是一个定数

先人好有幽默

彳亍间的距离微妙却又如此的永恒

消除了那渺小的空间会不会只是个错别字？

彳亍。。只因为默望長空深深祈禱着，愿剎那化永恒典雅
我想我的人生以彳亍而非行作为属性

那。。又是谁决定把它编进我人生的蓝图里？

Status: wistful

2008: The last week of June before work starts piling up

Been rather busy this week.

Aside from the endless seminars that we have to attend...Tuesday. Attempted to have coffee with Lun by the river, curled up with a good book. It failed horribly. We ended up in seats facing the afternoon sun, baking while chatting the afternoon away. So much for wanting to look stylish and educated. Our make-up melted though in Lun's case it could be due to 'oily skin'. But at least our conversations were intellectual ones. In fact I insist.

Here's a hastily-done collage. It's hideous because we didn't take much pictures and these are all the pictures I have of the afternoon. Yeah..a measly 6. (-_-")

Well then 4/6 of the SEC met up. Gan was late. And so the President made a couple of gentle phone calls to sweetly ask where she was, reminding Gan that she stated that she would arrive by 7.15 p.m.

Here's the look of sympathy on JY's face.

..as the four pots sitting quietly in a row tried to kick up their lids...


And JY has been promoted...from member to permanent member of SEC. =D

*throws confetti.

Methinks that the SEC blog needs to be updated.

Anyway that was on Tuesday. Talks of a run came up there and then and a run was organised on Wednesday. We started in the Botanic Gardens, running around in there, weaving through the paths in twilight, Gan, Lun and I.

Gan and I then ran the Bukit Timah stretch. Along the way, somewhere after Sixth Avenue, I couldn't regulate my breath and yelped for Gan to stop. We ran slower and continued on ....until she said.."We're reaching McDonalds..." (or something to that effect). Once I heard the key word "MCDONALDS", I froze. My will instantly vanished.

*POOF !!!

I halted and started walking. I think I shocked Gan. How she shouldn't have told me McDonald's was up front. I started whining about ice-cream..the 50-cent cone !!!!

Gan continued on ahead and then she too stopped. I saw her faint outline in the not-too-far distance and suddenly a horrid thought struck me. Gan may just refuse to let me eat my ice-cream if I do not start running.

And so I started running towards her. Then I told her the horrible thought that crossed my mind and wanted her assurance that we will stop for ice-cream..the 50-cent cone one....

I couldn't see her reaction in the dark but it must have been...... (-_-")

And so she said that we should sprint towards McDonalds, the last 100 metres or so. Yup, I did until the yellow-red sign board overwhelmed me. I stopped before she did.

We had the 50-cent cone icecream which was no longer 50-cents but 60-cents.

ZZZZ....

As Gan refused to take in the air-con, we continued on, cone in hand. We passed by the bus stop outside Pei Hwa Presbytarian Primary and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a girl staring at me. I furrowed my brows at her. I mean what's so weird about eating an ice-cream in PE attire, hot and sweaty?!

...Then it struck me that she was my student...from BBSS...

Ah sheesh....

Oh well.. I walked Gan home and because there was another McDonald's at her place, I had another 60-cent cone. =D

I should also give myself a pat on the back. I ran for 1 hour and 10-ish minutes... Gan said that it was probably about 9 km. I mean running inside Botanic Gardens and then that crazy long 'mentally-shag' straight road?!!!

Not too bad at all for someone who hardly exercises.

I think Gan was rather impressed too. I know because she didn't jibe at me at all, even though I stopped for ice-cream.

So much for my running buddy cum he-who-thinks-he-is-my-trainer. All he managed to condition me for, was for McDonald's.

On getting fat

The father said that I was getting fat.

I woke up at 430 a.m to run today.

Gossamer net

A faint scent of magnolia.
Cream.
A long time since I remembered.
Since I did.

Gladly I pay the price for remembering.
Sadness.

To let you go with nary a trace
into emptiness
'tis the song of silent little bells.

Walking the hallways of the past
merely to let you live again
Yet it's a rhythm I cannot hear.

Tonight is for holding that white rose in silent song.
One song length of silver bells.

That's all I can afford.

You're gone.
But not into oblivion.

Resting the wrist....

Due to my haphazard sleeping patterns, I think I have sprained my wrist. I think it took place slowly over an extended period of time. The bones in the wrist have been making the weirdest 'clicking' sounds.

However, it has progressed into feeling something move and 'pop' if I rotate the wrist slowly. That's the left wrist, by the way. The right has remained at the 'clicking' stage of which I am thankful for. I don't quite know how to explain it. It's like it cannot rotate in a full complete circle (like my ankles due to the twisting over the years), as if the little bones are misaligned or something.

It doesn't hurt but it does feel sort of weird. I have taken to wearing a wrist support at night when I sleep and I do try to keep it on throughout the day. I'm not sure if it is going to work. Cousin-uncle was saying that it might be the keyboard. *shrugs...

Anyway, I've just put on fake nails. It's freaking hard to type in them. I don't know how people with long nails function. I'm supposed to keep them on for not more than 10 days but maybe I will remove them tomorrow. They are just so difficult to work with. I'm typing with them now and the tip of those nails just keep slipping off the keys. I can't type with flat fingers either because the nails are too long and I can't 'run' fast.

Methinks I'm going to take a hiatus from blogging. This is after all the only period where I can afford to have long impractical nails....

On the birthday...

To celebrate my birthday, the family went out to eat. It was a riot. First of all, the brother was overly eager to lay his hands on the steering wheel.

Chups: Are you driving later?
Bro: Yes
Chups: Do you know how to get there?
Bro: Yah
Chups: So where am I going?
Bro: .................

I wanted to go Bugis and introduce them to the 麻辣火锅. The brother drove us to....erm.. I don't know where..Moulmein?!! We had to figure a way back to Bugis. I found what happened next extremely amusing.

So we were cruising along and while stopping at a T-junction, we noticed a traffic police tagging after a car. Whoa..must be someone important...

The brother, being a goon, went into the same lane behind the conspicuous white van that served as an escort. It was a red light. From a distance, light batons popped out from either side, waving. That meant that we were not allowed to stop behind the van. It took some time for the brother to register. By then, the car had already rolled to a stop behind the white van. Albeit some distance away but still behind.

The light batons continued to wave. There was much excitement in our car as to why there were light batons, who were in the van, how come we were not allowed to stop behind even though there was a significant distance between our car and the van..yadah yadah...

The brother changed to the left lane. We rolled to a stop beside the van. Immediately, windows popped open and someone placed the blue blinking lamp on top of the van. Heads popped out to stare at us ......and our entire family stared back.

PAUSE.............................................................

Then the commotion started again....how come we were not allowed to stop behind the van, why were they staring at us...who were they escorting, how come they placed the blue lamp on top of the van. Most of the question came from the mother. (-_-") In my own black humour, I explained that they thought that we might be terrorists who may open a machine gun from behind them and they wouldn't be able to see.

The lights turned green. We moved off. I caught sight of the important person in the car that they were escorting. No wonder......

Reading a newspaper, he was oblivious to the curious gazes of the family.

The mother started getting ideas in her head, questions like police knocking on our door in the middle of the night like the Red Army decades ago in China... (-_-") I told her....we have a 'P'-plate. It classifies us under 'Dumbos-who-don't-know-any-better'. Anyway the car wasn't even ours.

But I think it was freaking hilarious. The escorts probably thought it was serious business. They stared at us and what did we do? Our entire family turned our heads to look at them in puzzlement. The mother wondered what would happen if we refused to give way or didn't do what they ask.

Erm..........find ourselves stopped in the middle of the road and have a search conducted on us?

The scene of the escorts in the white van scrutinising us while our entire family turned right to look at them as the car slowly rolled to a stop is hilarious. I'm afraid it will be stuck in my head for quite some time and be re-played in slow-motion.

Thanks for all the well-wishes. =)

Status: amused

On not being able to sleep when I should be.

I'm starting to think that I don't know myself very well.

After wine yesterday, I woke up before 6 a.m. I did a quick calculation and realised I had a conservative estimation of 4 hours of sleep.

I think I woke because my mouth felt parched. Believe it or not, random thoughts started swirling in and crazily enough, I lay in bed thinking that I should do my theory homework. It was a crazy thought because I knew that today would be a long day. Not as long as a typical teaching day per se but yeah..activity-filled and I thought that I shouldn't be up so early if I could help it.

It was impossible to go back to sleep. I have no idea why.

In the end I woke up and padded across the room, wondering what I should do with myself. Checked the time, it was 6 a.m.

Obviously doing theory homework at 6 a.m on a Saturday morning, after wine last night with only 4 hours of sleep isn't a good idea. I would be the first to call myself insane.

I'm not really sure that I understand how I work anymore.

That is the reason why I am sitting in front of a darkened room writing. Puzzled. While I try to figure out what to do.

Event at The Substation: 2nd June 2008

Buggy works in The Substation

BUGS <---> SUBSTATIONS

hmm....how..erm..apt..LOL

Anyway there is an event (HIS event, or so he says)...He was reluctant to outsource his coffee break to me despite my reassurance that there is minimal charge when it comes to him. Rather than letting me help him take his coffee break, I can do better by going down for a screening of short films and I should 'bring [my] students or homies' (whatever that means)

First Take

Date: 2nd June (Monday)
Time: 8 pm
Venue: The Substation (opposite SMU at 45 Armenian Street)

Admission: FREE

Details:

1. 20th Anniversary: Pak and Son Travels / 20 min (PG)
2. 2 Minutes Away from Launch / 3 min (G)
3. Di Manakan Ku Cari Ganti (Where can I Find a Replacement) / 16 mins (PG)
   

Anybody interested? I told Buggy I will go if I can find company...

Wherein I dreamt of Jac getting married.

It was a pleasant surprise to get Jac's call yesterday. The reason being that I dreamt about her the night before.

I dreamt that I was at her wedding and I saw her sideview from far. Someone, probably her hairdresser was attaching her veil for her while she faced the mirror. I spoke to her mother, commenting on how sudden it was. The mother agreed that it was very sudden, telling me that she just came back from Auzzie and told them that she was getting married.

I remembered wearing a blue dress. I saw the groom from far too. In fact all I saw was his back.

When she called me, I thought how coincidental it was and I was all excited to tell her about my dream. Jac started to question me about the groom...

"Er... I think he was average, with an Armani sort of haircut..short hair..I think he seems to be in either banking or finance."

"You don't know my groom?!!!"

"Ya...EH..I only saw him from afar... WAIT... how come you got married so suddenly and I don't know anything about it?!!!"

"And you are not the bridesmaid?!!"

"Ya..EH... How come I am at your wedding and I AM NOT EVEN THE BRIDESMAID?!!!"

Then I started to get miffed.

"You didn't even have time to talk to me.. you were ignoring me at YOUR wedding.."

It was quite ridiculous, given that I talked to her mother, I remembered that the wedding took place in a morning and she was dressed in a room with French floor-to-ceiling windows. But I didn't know anything about it, I didn't talk to her, I didn't know the groom AT ALL. I mean.. I didn't even know she was getting married till I was summon to make an appearance at her wedding.

And then I was sent to go make sure I see the groom, if I dream about her again. And if I should so happen to dream about her next stage in life, I have to make sure I see her kids clearly too.

(-_-")

All these work....ignored at her wedding and I am not even the bridesmaid.....

Sibu - Day 1

Rimba resort sent a mini van to pick us up at Newton. The family arrived just in time to pass my my trusty 'ole spectacles which I've forgotten to bring. I actually brought the spectacle case without the spectacles.

The ride was a little uncomfortable because there was little leg room and I felt closed in. Taking the window seat wasn't the best for me because it was dark and with the air-con not working efficiently, it was claustrophobic for me. I got around the problem by falling asleep. As I packed minimally, the clothes could all fit into a A4 plastic document bag and I used it as a pillow.

It was a tedious journey because there were jams everywhere. I felt the van speed at times and in truth, it was what that woke me up intermittently. I just felt unsafe...before drifting back into slumber again.

YJ shared his theory (gotten from his friend)non queues at the checkpoints which I am not going to share here in case the whole world gets to know about it somehow and it doesn't work anymore. Suffice to say that we put his theory to the test and at the Malaysian side, we did end up in a shorter queue.

I slept most of the way and woke up when we reached the jetty.

The midnight boat ride was exhilarating.

The entire landscape was in shades of grey, with the night a darker grey than the sea. The boat went fast in rather choppy waters and we flounced around. I gripped the edge of the boat with my left hand and felt the warm water caressing it. The boat was going so fast that it sent up more than just a spray of the sea. The moon was so bright, the sprays of water, the ripples near the boat and in its wake glittered in the darkness. It was hypnotic. It felt as though I was just in a little enclosed area, of a pool of water. The horizon felt so near and I had this almost irrepressible urge to reach out and touch it. It was like a call in the darkness and I had to keep reminding myself that it wasn't a trip down the water channels of a theme park but rather I was in open sea, but a bit in the wilderness.

As we got there so late, it was low tide and we had to trek through rocky terrain in the dark. Granted that there were light and torches along the way, it was not strong enough to dispel all shadows. We had to walk with a firm footing and I still think that running around like a 'sam-seng' girl in flip-flops when I was young has been an advantage because flip-flops was the only footwear I had and throughout the entire stay on the island, I navigated everywhere in them.

For me, I guess the trick is to not put all my weight on the foot when I step down. Rather I tread before gradually increasing my weight on that foot. It's like normal walking except that the processing speed is a bit faster and you decide almost straight away how to curl your feet in or to mould the foot to the rock shape for additional grip. Flip-flops in fact may be better than hard soles when navigating rocky terrain as I can feel the terrain.

Anyway it was with much relief when we reach the place. It wasn't too far off. It's just that walking in the darkness made it hard. We were promptly served with sandwiches, even though it was 1 a.m. in the morning. And oh my, they were delicious. 3 slices of bread with thick filling and mayonnaise in between. Unfortunately, not being a bread person, my limit has always been 2 slices. Thus I was only able to finish half of the sandwiches.

When we were ready, we were shown to our rooms, or rather our huts. We had mosquito nets around our bed. I shared the room with Nana. It was an open-hut concept. The door was merely a sheet of plastic and our bathroom, though attached, had also a plastic sheet for a door. The entire place was made out of wood and as far as I could see, other than the toilet bowl and sink, as well as the bathroom floor.

This is YJ's and JH's room.

All the huts face the sea and the chairs are made out of solid wood. Even the clothes rack and shelves were made out of bamboo.

Well, the downside was that the place being quite close to nature and all, I found a huge insect on the plastic sheet of the door to my hut after coming back from YJ's and JH's hut. Nana and I stared at it for a long moment before she decided that it may just disappear in the morning and did a quick careful pop into the hut. Not so optimistic, I had to go scream for YJ to remove it.

YJ removed the brown large exoskeletal weird thing with his hands, of which I am freaking impressed of. It was about the size of a cockroach. If I were with Gan, she would just tell me to ignore it or at most she will remove the thing with a stick or a leaf, that is after she takes zillion of pictures, a video and declaring countless times how cute the weird monster is. She may not remove it with her bare hands.......if it is weird enough because she will think that it may be poisonous....and will just keep reiterating in her no-nonsense tone for me to leave it alone even though it is possible that she may be scared of it too. *SNIFFS...lolz..

If she actually removes it, it will be due to my incessant whining. If it is a good day when her tolerance level is like freaking high, I will have to be stuck with fighting the mental image of weird insects attaching to my face and trying to bore a hole through with acidic chomps....

I blame it on watching too many "The Mummy" and its sequels with their scarab beetles.

YJ and Gan are quite alike in many ways..does long treks, loves nature...hmm so who is better to have on nature trips?......Gan is lovely but YJ removes stuff with bare hands with no questions asked !!! Haha....ok..rather I don't have to whine too hard and not know for sure if it is going to disappear.

Gan.. will you have removed that horrid weird thing? Does YJ have more guts than you?!!!

(A challenge in the event that I find myself in a similar situation, with her..=P)

I mean it is not like it is on the verandah or something, it is on the plastic sheet that has to be flipped open when we enter. What if the thing flies to my face or something....*shudders

However I must say that I am definitely not the type of girl to fall in a swoon whenever I see an insect. I am fine with them...(even if they are weird) as long as they know their place and maintain a respectable distance and not try to be funny. If it was on the wall beside the plastic sheet, resting there quietly, it would be ok...just not on the plastic flap of my door. Our hut attracted various sort of insects, like mozzies (plenty) and even moths and dragonflies...oh as well as lizards (plenty) and we all cohabit fine and well together.

Anyway our place had no hot water. The drainage isn't fantastic but it works. I think YJ and JH had no problem with theirs' at all. The water comes from the ground. It is potable and tastes sweet.

As there was no hot water available at 2 a.m. in the morning and Nana didn't mind sharing the bed with stinky me, I didn't bathe (I didn't perspire that much anyway)...Nana bathed and yup.. then we slumbered....

Back from Sibu

I'm back from my trip.

However I cannot type really well now because I have 2 cuts on two of my fingertips and at least one small gouge on my left thumb.

I also have 3 cuts on the sole of my feet and a bit of scratches on one of my outer left ankle and one stinging one on the inner right ankle.

Still I must admit I fared the best out of the group.

It has been a rather eventful trip, I must say, with huge waves, perverted lizards..being stranded on hot sharp stones which burn, cut and slices, along with stuff like being surrounded by menacing jellyfishes....from all around.

I STILL SHUDDER AT THE THOUGHT.

Details later...People who play the piano know how tender the fingers can get (as opposed to playing the erhu or the guitar)

My poor fingers. *SOBS

Food is filling up my life

Remember the instant Japanese curry mix I got?

I decided to cook it. Instructions were fairly simple, just put it in boiling water for a few minutes and then pour out the contents to rice.

Basically, vegetables such as carrots and potatoes (I think) are included, so it will be good alone with rice. However I added meat by simply slicing it and grilling it before I poured the sauce over. Lun did this before, for the SEC by using cutlets I think, so the alternative will be to fry the cutlets?

Anyway I mixed it all up and started eating before I remembered to take the picture, so it doesn't exactly look appetising here but trust me, it tastes better than it looks. After all, it is idiot-proof-instant-mix, you can hardly go wrong.

The only problem is that it is slightly more time-consuming than instant noodles. It definitely costs more and I cannot say that it is healthier. But it's different if I want something more to do rather than popping in a packet of noodles into the water.

Anyway, for dinner, the mother marinated chicken and sprinkled some herbs onto the chicken and left it in the fridge under clingwrap. My job was to pop it in the oven for grilling.

I took out the chicken to thaw for a bit as putting it into the oven straight away takes up more heat and uses more unnecessary energy. However, don't leave it for the entire afternoon as it could spoil.

Grilling is quite healthy. You cannot imagine the puddle of oil that came from the chicken itself. Can you imagine how much oil is ingested if the chicken was deep-fried? *shudders...Not that I am adverse to fried stuff, I still eat them. However, I believe in not taking in oil and fats when it is not necessary.

Gan is also back. I needed to return her a book and I asked if she wanted to borrow anything. Upon searching my shelves, I realise I need to re-organise them. This is only one shelf, mostly for classics..

Yup, so we met up for an early supper since she had to work tomorrow. Xiao Long Pau was no more...*SOBS, so we had to cross the road to the shophouses and settled for a HongKong-concept cafe. Like Fish, she had the Lemon-honey but the glass isn't as pretty.

I had tea....=P
and of course we ate stuff but I forgot to take pictures. Anyway those are just random pictures, I am awfully trigger-happy these past few days. MOSTLY because I just have less things to do now and I need to find more things to fill my time so that the days don't stretch too long. Taking pictures is a good 'filler activity'.

Another reason why we met up was because Gan just came back from Brisbane and she brought back a whole bag of goodies with her. One full Standard Chartered marathon gym bag. Need I say more? She spent like more than 100 SGD on food alone and she said that I can pick what I want out of that bag..

=D

I got my Choya !! And I am happy even though it is not free..LOL

Other goodies that I 'ka-pok' out of her bag include the lemon cheesecake slice biscuits and the Cinnamon & Apple tea (I have yet to see in in Singapore). The satchets of tea and coffee was what Gan threw into the backseat of the car..LOL

There is a reason why Gan is good as a pseudo boyfriend. The minute she opened her bag, she tossed me the Bailey's flavoured chocolate and told me they are for me...and a whole bag of them at that....It has the Chups' name written all over it. =D

Who needs boyfriends when you have one of the greatest girlfriends who gets you stuff like Bailey's-filled chocolate?!!

I don't think anybody at this present moment can read me so well. I'm like dreadfully happy with my lemon cheesecake flavoured biscuits, cinnamon and apple tea, my one big bottle of Choya and my Bailey's chocolate. They have my favourite food elements in them, like cheesecake, cinnamon....chocolate.....MMMMMMMMM.. and trust me.. It's almost heaven when you get to rummage through that BIG bag of goodies like a pack rat.

So that means more running....who cares when I can eat them?!!

And they are all MINE !!!

MINE !!!!!

*CACKLES WITH JOY !!!!

The end of practicum

Practicum was not easy. We worked in our little room. But now, like what Za said, I will never be able to be around that area without feeling the presence of their presence.

The laughters and tears echo in the corridors and resound in the room. Our mess, our stress, our fears, our bond, the lining that joins us all, have all been etched into the surroundings.

I will traverse the hallways, hearing their voices, hearing laughters, hearing tears, hearing the support, with the weight of the memories tied to my heart, I will gladly bear.

Eating the favourite "kueh-chi" together...where we were allowed to be ourselves and accepted for who we are...

The "lup-kopi" sessions....


In a certain way, we belong to each other.

Who could ever imagine that the end can be so simple and yet so difficult?


The pattering footsteps of Rinchen, the bear dances of a duckie, the robust laughter of Gab, the exasperation that Jojo brings, the many questions of Grace......I will....

My heart will hear everything that my ears does not. My heart will strain to hear them and perhaps when all is quiet, perhaps I would turn and catch a glimpse of a heel disappearing around the corner, hear an echo of a laughter, see the shadow of a dancing bear and I will remember and smile softly to myself.

Memories scent the air. I will step back into time with every crossing of the threshold, the closing of doors.

Halls, classrooms, the parade square...they will never be the same again.

These people..............are worth every tear I shed for the parting. Other than the 8 of us, Dean, Intan, Nurus and John (who is not here)....they have all made a tough experience priceless, so much so that I'm sorry to see them go.

I'm sorry it came to an end.

But, even though I will miss them very much, I know these stars have gone elsewhere to shine and give their light and warmth to those that need them even more than I do.

28/2/08 - 9/5/08

Practicum.
10 weeks of training.
A lifetime of friendship.

Thank you for being there when I needed you.

Not able to sleep...

Didn't do much today.

Doing too little, sleeping too much, results in the inability to sleep at midnight.

I drove the parents to NTUC in the evening as the mother wanted to make use of her vouchers. I headed for everything I wanted and dropped them into the basket I helped to carry. I dropped a bottle of Choya in. I love Choya. It is one of the early favourites, when I hit legal drinking age.

However the bottle of Choya had gone missing.

I think the mother hid it. (-_-")

Other than Tiger and Sheridan's, there is nothing else.

And after battling the inferno from outside and then spending the next few hours next to the oven baking.....I don't want Sherridan's and hot coffee (which is how I usually drink it)

I cannot open another bottle and risk the mother's wrath of taking up fridge space..... She was complaining a few weeks ago that we have juice, milk and that Sheridan's in the fridge. Never mind that the weather is hot and we need variety. The mother can get easily agitated when the fridge's space is taken up by non-essentials. And we have a really small fridge because long ago, they built them tiny and to last. Our tiny fridge is as old as I am.

But that's something for another time...anyway so I was left with Tiger...beer. (-_-")

It would be good for me to drink because....work has slowed to a crawl and less work wreaks havoc on diet and sleeping hours. I've been feeling the urge to eat, only to have food placed in front of me before I realise I have no appetite. Not only that, the intake of food has lessened. I can barely finish a bowl of standard foodcourt fare. Trust me, I was shocked when I couldn't finish my bowl of noodles, especially when I was in a bad mood earlier because I was ravenous. Last week, after the bout of viral thing I caught, I've also realised that two slices of bread can last me more than 8 hours when previously I could eat every 2-3 hours.

My bed-time has also gotten later. This is bad because I still need to wake up early on weekdays. And I am really the type of people who needs to really sleep a lot before the brain can function at optimum processing speed. But not working till I'm exhausted means I really cannot sleep.

And trust me, there are only so many teddy bears and jewellery stuff and 'you-tubing' I can do. In fact, I'm bored already after spending the entire of last night 'you-tubing'.

Ok I admit it. I like variety in life and I get easily bored. But hey..I AM a Gemini.

And so even though I really don't feel much like beer, I'm taking large swigs of it. Hopefully I will start feeling sleepy at 1 a.m. and not like 3 a.m.

I would actually have ran just now except that the heat is really stopping me. The weather is simply crazy. But then so was I just now, to actually decide to try out baking in that new oven that I've just coerced the mother to buy. But I was REALLY bored.

The oven was too small so I could only make little batches at a time. I ended up reading while waiting for each batch to be finish so that I could pop the next one in.

And I was sitting in the corner as shown in the picture.

As you can see, I must have been very bored to actually take pictures while baking cookies. Anyway while I was baking, I figured that someone is going to have to finish those cookies.

Here's Sheridan's. This picture was taken quite a while back. I bought this because I thought it was interesting to have both the coffee layered liquour and the cream come out at the same time. Oh and it does...in fact one of my greatest kick out of it is seeing the black and white pour out together. It's quite close to Bailey's but unlike Bailey's I never did acquire a taste for it on the rocks. I pour this in my coffee for one of those sunny afternoons when I have a good book by my side. As you can see, there is still quite a fair bit left. I don't think anybody in this house is a fan of Sheridan's.

And I bought it only to realise I've outgrown stuff like Bailey's and Sheridan's, which is a crying shame actually because I still have to finish the entire bottle...and as time passes, it is beginning to seem like I have to finish it all by myself, preferably before it expires....so if the SEC wants me to bring this bottle for any gatherings....let me know...I just poured this into my coffee last week, it's still good. And I only opened it like a few weeks back.

However, it's not like I can't drink it. I just realised that given a choice between something else and Bailey's, I may not necessarily choose to buy it, unlike in the past. When I drink this, half the time it is because I like to see the stuff pour out of separate openings....lolz

Wine is still quite a constant, so is desert wines like Port and Sherry but I think I am starting to acquire a taste for stuff like D.O.M. Probably because there is always some in the house that I can't help but eventually acquire tastebuds for it. I like the smell of spices in it and mixing it with orange juice is quite nice, really. But that is the parent's domain and they haven't opened a new bottle since the last one half a year ago. I think they've forgotten all about it.

Anyway, you can probably tell by now that I'm just blogging because I cannot get to sleep. Reading doesn't work for me because I will just finish the entire book. The Tiger is almost gone and it doesn't seem to be working. I think I will just run next time. But it's almost 2 a.m. already and I should really try to sleep and hope that the Tiger does work.

Sigh..really.. I think next time? I'll just run. After bathing and all, I'm sure I'll be pooped enough to sleep.