Showing posts with label musings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label musings. Show all posts

Monday, November 15, 2010

假動作

假動作

作曲/編曲:黃韻仁"
作词:小寒

要不是他在眼前對你的愛憐
我想愛你的心將持續冬眠
夢被叫醒如何能疏遠

要不是你在耳邊對我吐真言
我想我會怎樣和你沒關聯
從此連見到你的臉 也能免則免

我明白知覺
會因為視覺聽覺觸覺產生錯覺
於是要你誤解
也不要你瞭解


揮揮手(放開你)只是 假動作
掩飾我 我深愛過的線索
不該無理剝奪
該你的幸福結果

就算冷漠是 假動作
沒有錯 我背負心碎藏躲
獨自人海漂泊
為的只是要你能忘了我

要不是我開始在深陷的邊緣
沒想到那麼快就必須棄權
割捨所有的可能不允許剩一點

兩人禁不起流言的挑撥
感情體質虛弱
人的骨子裡難免有許多
痛和不妥 盡量躲過
才能好好生活

嘿 請你忘了我


我一直都很喜歡小寒的詞。這句‘我明白知覺會因為視覺聽覺觸覺產生錯覺,於是要你誤解也不要你瞭解’令我印象深刻, 所以就搜尋了這首歌也發現了原來這首歌是有它的典故。

對於這首歌的詞解, 小寒的博客(寒語詞點)是這麼寫著。 。

“人的骨子裡難免有許多,痛和不妥,盡量躲過,才能好好生活。“

這是兩個高中生阿叮和大衛,加上一個同校女生鈴鐺的真實故事。

大衛是個壞男孩;鈴鐺是個書呆子,根本不是大衛的菜。大衛追鈴鐺,完全出自於新鮮感。

阿叮是大衛美式足球的隊友,安靜卻講義氣,處處為大衛解圍,也處處為大衛想辦法追到他看上的女生。鈴鐺所認識的阿叮,是從大衛嘴裡聽說的。大衛說,阿叮是個萬人迷。可是在鈴鐺看來,阿叮是個獨行俠,除了偶而跟大衛混在一起,他都靠在校舍欄桿吹風、看書。

阿叮和鈴鐺唸的學科大多相同,上下課的時間較相近,兩人碰面卻從未說話。大衛之所以知道鈴鐺出現的時間、地點,全靠阿叮知會。阿叮所不知道的是,自己藏在對面座校舍的蹤跡,凝望著她的舉動,已被鈴鐺發現。特別是在鈴鐺躲在秘密角落掉眼淚時,阿叮更是徘徊不去。可惜阿叮並沒有現身,最後還是選擇把大衛叫來,安慰鈴鐺。

層層精彩的攻勢,讓鈴鐺心動,終於答應和大衛出去玩。雖然鈴鐺喜歡阿叮。卻從一直沒和阿叮單獨相處的機會。她就只能遠遠地,用仰慕的心情看著他。

阿叮也從沒跟鈴鐺說過一句話,卻偏偏在傳球給大衛時,總會喊著鈴鐺的名字當暗號。激烈的球賽中,聽到兩個男生一直喊自己的名字,讓鈴鐺更是有些錯亂、丈二金剛摸不著頭腦。

終於有一次三人碰面,趁大衛上廁所的當兒,阿叮終於開口,尷尬地說了聲“嗨。” 鈴鐺不知何故,冒出了一句:“你知道我們還不是男女朋友…” 還沒說完剛好大衛出來,阿叮趁機對他說自己有事先走了。走時,連鈴鐺也不多看一眼。

不知是害怕別人的流言,還是出自於一個朋友的義務,從此阿叮刻意避開可能碰到鈴鐺的地點,即使不小心碰到,也裝著不認識。

後來鈴鐺沒有跟大衛在一起,阿叮也結婚了。

球場上的假動作,騙過了青春,要大家把頭別過去, 看不到可能發生的事也埋了一切可能。

最後一句寫得非常好。 。 。 ‘騙過了青春,要大家把頭別過去, 看不到可能發生的事也埋了一切可能’。它淡淡的帶出了青春所剩的遺憾,人生中種種的無法控制也無法解釋的韻味;惟獨有盡量的躲過骨子裡的痛和不妥才能好好生活。

好切實的一句話, 不是嗎?我們人生中又有多少的假動作是出自於無理頭的保護信念?甚至不清楚是保護他人, 自我保護,還是只不過是傻瓜式的为了一心想要維持現狀。 。 。

Friday, November 5, 2010

休言万事转头空,未转头时是梦。

西江月   平山堂
  
三过平山堂下,半生弹指声中。
十年不见老仙翁,壁上龙蛇飞动。   
欲吊文章太守,仍歌杨柳春风。
休言万事转头空,未转头时是梦。

白居易说:“百年随手过,万事转头空”。苏轼则比之有更深层次的认识:“休言万事转头空,未转头时是梦”。欧公仙逝了,固然一切皆空,而活在世上的人,又何尝不是在梦中,终归一切空无。不要轻言东坡消极,或许正是心怀此念,他才得以坦然面对纷至沓来的政治打击:人生既然不过虚幻,政治失意与挫折,算得什么呢?故而陈廷焯《白雨斋词话》卷六云:“‘休言万事转头空。未转头时皆梦’追进一层,唤醒痴愚不少。”

苏轼受佛家思想影响颇深,习惯用佛家的色空观念看待事物。白居易诗云“百年随手过,万事转头空”,苏轼则更进一步认识到“休言万事转头空,未转头时是梦。”这种对整体人生的空幻、悔悟、淡漠感,这种携带某种禅意玄思的人生偶然的感喟,其中深深地埋藏着某种要求彻底解脱的出世意念。苏词中传达的这种独特的人生态度,是解读其作品的关键所在。

~baike.baidu.com/view/867074.htm


友人最近在和我谈话中送了我一句: “休言万事转头空,未转头时是梦”。是啊!既然百年随手过,万事转头空,休言万事转头空,未转头时是梦。最近也在看作家村上春樹 (Haruki Murakami) 的短篇小说, 有一篇也刚巧描绘了这一点。

现在的我又怎么知道此时此刻的我不是处于一段梦竟。。。

可是我为何感觉有如庄周。。。不知勤之梦为胡蝶与?胡蝶之梦为勤与?

又或许一场春蝶之梦本皆空。。。百年随手过,万事转头空,人生也不过如此而已。。。

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

失拍

每次以为得到了平静
心却起涟漪
微微震的波动
跟不上自己设定的频率

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Reflection of the day.

Sometimes, like today, I think that the human heart is capable of more love and forgiveness than I think possible.

We have the amazing ability to shield ourselves from the horrors of our past and perhaps that is what gives us our hope for the future.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

On being a non-conformist

Yesterday I felt that I was myself as in whole and complete. A funny feeling that was.

I'm coping with work and I am learning how to re-structure and re-organise my time. Recently I was told that I have managed to surprise someone 3 times.

Non-conformist.

Sometimes I like being different from what is expected of me.

Yeah..sometimes...

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

What can a PSLE certificate do?

I was just thinking....if the students I'm teaching now, quit school...

They will only have a PSLE certificate which is practically useless now and will be totally phased out in a decade.

They will be stuck with jobs that pays below $1000 for life? With increasing inflation that will erode away the value? An average of 3% inflation per year will in 10 year's time erode away 30% of that $1000 and this year's inflation rate is already what...6%?!!!

Saturday, June 14, 2008

彳亍着

Went to play pool today. Settlers was too full to seat us.

I also want to thank Iv Ge for getting me a book from Cambodia. It was totally unexpected and I really appreciate the thought. The cover featured Angkor Wat in backlight, far away in the horizon.

One need never say goodbye to Angkor, for its magic will go with you wherever fate and the gods may take you to colour your thoughts and dreams to life's very end.

~ H W Ponder

The holidays has allowed me to drift away from the realities of life, to indulge in dreams. Day-dreaming, one of the most futile activity and yet one of the few luxuries I intermittenly allow myself to savour and indulge in.
Sometimes I dream that I was back in South Africa, France or Cambodia.

***

我很喜欢这一首歌。。。

巫啟賢 - 《邂逅》

入暮的山途獨有我彳亍,落紅鏗然顯凄清
低吟起那幽陰的歌,歌聲抖出了蕭索
歌韻隱隱飄蕩入我波心,牽引我山游覓覓尋
邂逅你炯瑩的星眸,顫動我翩翩入夢
恒古雋永美麗的神話,莫非已降臨此剎那
默望長空我深深祈禱,愿剎那化永恒典雅

彳亍: 不读为行【拼音chì chù】
形容小步慢走或时走时停。
在戴望舒的《雨巷》中写到:“像我一样,像我一样,默默的彳亍着……”。
好久的歌, 恰似能嗅出尘来
简单的曲,美丽的词
童年的时光历历在目
终是想回到那小时候
因为终是觉得往前是如此的彳亍着

我很喜欢这一个词。。。“彳亍”

行于彳亍。。。
一个不小心就容易弄错
行于彳亍却表达截然不同的意义

从彳亍到行
是一个跃不过的空间吗?
人生得于彳亍或于行是否是一个定数

先人好有幽默
彳亍间的距离微妙却又如此的永恒
消除了那渺小的空间会不会只是个错别字?

彳亍。。只因为默望長空深深祈禱着,愿剎那化永恒典雅
我想我的人生以彳亍而非行作为属性
那。。又是谁决定把它编进我人生的蓝图里?

Status: wistful

Friday, April 25, 2008

Art is not the intent to shock

During the random blogsurfing of my favourite bloggers, I came across an article of how an artist starved a dog to death in the name of art.

This was what I did.

I read the entry.

I pondered about it.

I signed the petition against it and added a comment, "Art is not the intent to shock"

I googled it.

I then did more pondering.

But I probably should have googled everything before signing anything.

Outrage at 'starvation' of a stray dog for art
Gerard Couzens in Madrid
Sunday March 30, 2008

Chaining up a dog and forcing it to go without food and water in the name of art is a surefire way of making yourself unpopular with animal lovers. The furore created by Damien Hirst's pickled sheep and Tracey Emin's dirty bed pales into insignificance against the international outrage Guillermo 'Habacuc' Vargas has unleashed.

The Costa Rican has been called an animal abuser, killer and worse over claims that a stray dog called Natividad died of starvation after he displayed it at an exhibition last year at the Códice Gallery in Managua, Nicaragua. Vargas tethered the animal without food and water under the words 'Eres Lo Que Lees' - 'You Are What You Read' - made out of dog biscuits while he played the Sandinista anthem backwards and set 175 pieces of crack cocaine alight in a massive incense burner. More than a million people have signed an online petition urging organisers of this year's event to stop Vargas taking part.

Vargas, 32, said he wanted to test the public's reaction, and insisted none of the exhibition visitors intervened to stop the animal's suffering. He refused to say whether the animal had survived the show, but said he had received dozens of death threats.

Juanita Bermúdez, director of the Códice Gallery, insisted Natividad escaped after just one day. She said: 'It was untied all the time except for the three hours the exhibition lasted and it was fed regularly with dog food Habacuc himself brought in.'

Source: The Guardian


I suppose I should have googled before I signed the petition but my excuse was that it was 2 a.m. in the morning. When I read that article, I was first outraged which quickly settled into a clinical detachment meaning I questioned my outrage.

What is the difference between having a dog slowly starved to death in the street and having it starved to death in a museum?

If we are questioning the medium, isn't realism one of the highest form of art?

My mind is fixated on that ONE question: What is the difference?

I'm sure there has to be some explanation for it. I can't say it is wrong just because I feel replused. Just because I cringe in disgust at having death manipulated at the hands of a man filled with cruelty?

Guillermo Vargas infringed on the rights of a dog? Is that sufficient explanation?

I never had a dog. Though I do not dislike them, I have to admit that other than the occasional petting and playing of my friends' pets and strays, my affection is weaker for them than other animal-lovers. I wanted to say that Man has more rights over animals. Then I realised that I don't entirely believe in that sentence either because we are a mere part of this Earth.

Perhaps what I truly meant was that Man are stronger than animals. Hence it is not a question of right or wrong. When viewed from another perspective, the question posed is whether Man has a duty to protect and not abuse his strength and position?

Yes. But when it comes to a bigger reason, perhaps in the name of art or education, which side should the balance tip towards?

We all have a duty to fulfill and part of the reason for existing is to fulfil that duty. Hume once said, "I believe that no man ever threw away life while it was worth keeping." Though his discourse was on suicide, that was a phase well-remembered enough for me to recall in the thinking of this issue. If a dog's life cannot be sacrificed for art, then how do we justify sacrificing our people for war?

If a dog was tied up and starved to death in the name of science, will there be lesser outrage? Imagine a scientist stating that his reason for doing so was to study how the organs shut down when deprived of food. Is science any less important than the arts?

What I understand of society as a whole is this. Life is more valuable than art but may not be more valuable than education, should the particular infomation be valuable towards saving future lives However our country, our land, our people, our identity as a people could possibly be more valuable than life itself.

Which is interesting....really...considering that the differences is what we make out of it.

And yes....even after knowing it is a hoax, I will still sign the petition. (Boycott to the presence of Guillermo Vargas "Habacuc" at the Bienal Centroamericana Honduras 2008)

The reason being, I don't like ugly deeds, ideas and actions. And you have to admit no matter how wonderful an idea or reason the artist had, having a mangled dog slowly die in front of you isn't exactly the prettiest of sight.

But the irony is because of that exhibit, the artist is chosen to preseent at the Bienal Centroamerican Honduras 2008 but with a different exhibit. (Note: nobody has been able to prove that the events were misrepresented, other than the artist's and the director's claim that the dog ran away.) Read Starving dog art

With all the controversy, he is going to get even more publicity.

...

Ah well...

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

victims always win

Sometimes I wonder if it has never been about right or wrong after all but about who's weaker.

Is that why people are getting less resilient?

Because we can't always do the right thing, because we can't always be strong, when we cannot, we are the shattered, we are the victims revelling in sympathetic attention.

So that we can, in our own skewed perceptions of reality, think that we have won.