It's 2011.
Someone told me that she thought I was a scatterbrain in 2010.
I do agree.
Looking back, I was lost in the hazy mists of 2010. It was a little dreary and I can't really recall what happened. That could be also due to the minimal blogging I have done in recent years.
With work, things were not exactly rosy. People gave each other a hard time and I can never understand why it must be so but it is depressing. I suppose I was on the tip of breaking down and maybe I did but as with many things, I am always late when it comes to realisation.
With relationships, halfway through the year, I opened up to new people because they were easier to hang around with. Not that I didn't love the old but the pretense of keeping up, pretending that everything was fine was getting too much so I closed up. Even then, there are always people who are more understanding so I guess I drifted away from others and give thanks for people who are still there when I finally learnt to make my way back.
We all mature at different speed and undergo different experiences at different life stages. If anything else, I never thought it was possible to feel even older than I thought I did with some of my friends but 2010 has been a dark awakening somehow even if it a little misty. With some people, I feel that I have aged even faster than I thought possible.
Feeling that way is a little scary because how much more idealism and innocence can I still afford to lose? But I was recently asked what I would have changed in my life and I realise that there is nothing I would change. Every little experience has shaped and moulded me into who I am today. Sometimes I do wish I was different and a little easier on myself but if I can't then I can only love myself. I can't choose where I was born nor my family nor the era and every little aspect which has shaped my youth has shaped my choices and affected my experience in life's journey since. I still buy the theory that even if I were to go back in time, with all my imperfect knowledge and character, I would still have made the same choices. Hindsight is always perfect. Yet I can't see how I would have turned out if I had chosen differently or changed certain experiences and that being the case, I can only choose to love myself for who I am today. I may not be satisfied with the person I am but I will indeed try to love myself, even if I had lost a great deal of innocence and idealism.
Someone told me I reminded him of soldiers who undertake increasingly dangerous missions in hope of killing themselves. It jolted me awake because I didn't think that it was that obvious but for a while I did feel like I was going on a nuclear implosion where I didn't mind if anything and everything was obliterated. Looking back now, even I find myself a little scary.
2010 was also a year of new things. I did scuba diving alone and went to Shanghai and Hangzhou alone. There were people there but crossing paths is not exactly the same as heading there alone, isn't it? I found comfort in solace and it is where I return to when I need it. I've learnt to do many more things alone. It wasn't something I had set out to accomplish but much like being able to find pleasure in reading, I am glad that I can.
Despite many ugly incidents and ugly people encountered and where I could have been even more screwed up but am not, for that I give thanks and still believe that someone must have been watching out for me.
What's in for 2011?
I am hoping for Bali in March and Tibet in June. I will try to take better care of myself in every way, hoping to run again, do more music and reconstruct my social life as well as push myself more. I will try to blog more. It is a good way to document, remember and learn. I will try to live more. I have been trying but in actual fact, for quite some time, I was trying to keep my head above water more than really enjoying living. And so I will try to do more swimming especially since I can barely do a lap and hopefully learn how to tread water. That will probably help in my diving too. I will try with more new things and be good, of course. I am feeling a little more in control now and so I do really believe that a great 2011 awaits. =)
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Friday, November 5, 2010
休言万事转头空，未转头时是梦。
西江月 平山堂
三过平山堂下，半生弹指声中。
十年不见老仙翁，壁上龙蛇飞动。
欲吊文章太守，仍歌杨柳春风。
休言万事转头空，未转头时是梦。
三过平山堂下，半生弹指声中。
十年不见老仙翁，壁上龙蛇飞动。
欲吊文章太守，仍歌杨柳春风。
休言万事转头空，未转头时是梦。
白居易说：“百年随手过，万事转头空”。苏轼则比之有更深层次的认识：“休言万事转头空，未转头时是梦”。欧公仙逝了，固然一切皆空，而活在世上的人，又何尝不是在梦中，终归一切空无。不要轻言东坡消极，或许正是心怀此念，他才得以坦然面对纷至沓来的政治打击：人生既然不过虚幻，政治失意与挫折，算得什么呢？故而陈廷焯《白雨斋词话》卷六云：“‘休言万事转头空。未转头时皆梦’追进一层，唤醒痴愚不少。”
苏轼受佛家思想影响颇深，习惯用佛家的色空观念看待事物。白居易诗云“百年随手过，万事转头空”，苏轼则更进一步认识到“休言万事转头空，未转头时是梦。”这种对整体人生的空幻、悔悟、淡漠感，这种携带某种禅意玄思的人生偶然的感喟，其中深深地埋藏着某种要求彻底解脱的出世意念。苏词中传达的这种独特的人生态度，是解读其作品的关键所在。
友人最近在和我谈话中送了我一句: “休言万事转头空，未转头时是梦”。是啊！既然百年随手过，万事转头空，休言万事转头空，未转头时是梦。最近也在看作家村上春樹 (Haruki Murakami) 的短篇小说, 有一篇也刚巧描绘了这一点。
现在的我又怎么知道此时此刻的我不是处于一段梦竟。。。
可是我为何感觉有如庄周。。。不知勤之梦为胡蝶与？胡蝶之梦为勤与？
又或许一场春蝶之梦本皆空。。。百年随手过，万事转头空，人生也不过如此而已。。。
苏轼受佛家思想影响颇深，习惯用佛家的色空观念看待事物。白居易诗云“百年随手过，万事转头空”，苏轼则更进一步认识到“休言万事转头空，未转头时是梦。”这种对整体人生的空幻、悔悟、淡漠感，这种携带某种禅意玄思的人生偶然的感喟，其中深深地埋藏着某种要求彻底解脱的出世意念。苏词中传达的这种独特的人生态度，是解读其作品的关键所在。
~baike.baidu.com/view/867074.htm
友人最近在和我谈话中送了我一句: “休言万事转头空，未转头时是梦”。是啊！既然百年随手过，万事转头空，休言万事转头空，未转头时是梦。最近也在看作家村上春樹 (Haruki Murakami) 的短篇小说, 有一篇也刚巧描绘了这一点。
现在的我又怎么知道此时此刻的我不是处于一段梦竟。。。
可是我为何感觉有如庄周。。。不知勤之梦为胡蝶与？胡蝶之梦为勤与？
又或许一场春蝶之梦本皆空。。。百年随手过，万事转头空，人生也不过如此而已。。。
Monday, October 27, 2008
Aphyxiated
My room is terribly messy. I guess I can begin the holidays by starting to clean everything up, control what goes into my mouth and run again. I still haven't quite got over my preference for solitude even though I've started meeting up with people. There just seems so much to do that I'm selfishly placing myself before others. I still have books to read and shows to watch and so many things I want to do by myself.
Someone told me I need a personal life.
I guess they don't understand that my personal life entails a breathing space, away from the restraints of a maddening crowd. It is getting harder to find that little window for the fresh air in this busy city life.
Someone told me I need a personal life.
I guess they don't understand that my personal life entails a breathing space, away from the restraints of a maddening crowd. It is getting harder to find that little window for the fresh air in this busy city life.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
On being a non-conformist
Yesterday I felt that I was myself as in whole and complete. A funny feeling that was.
I'm coping with work and I am learning how to re-structure and re-organise my time. Recently I was told that I have managed to surprise someone 3 times.
Non-conformist.
Sometimes I like being different from what is expected of me.
Yeah..sometimes...
I'm coping with work and I am learning how to re-structure and re-organise my time. Recently I was told that I have managed to surprise someone 3 times.
Non-conformist.
Sometimes I like being different from what is expected of me.
Yeah..sometimes...
Friday, July 11, 2008
悬
唯一的庇护是距离
与天与地
一天又一点
越抗拒越放松绳子拉长距离
拔河
下一秒
往前还是后退
倾向又转身背对
怎么就像飞蛾扑火
许着不该许的愿望
就悬困在空中
就悬困在空中
两半心的摇椅
摇摇蓝蓝
忽高忽低
与天空地面的拔河
近天近地
伸手摘星无法如愿
脚踏实地无法情愿
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
falling,smiling
Falling slowly into entrainment
Sunshine coming through
Little shared moments
Sparkle and smile
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Feeling better...
Today was better but my legs ached terribly, all the way to the small of my back. I have no idea why. It couldn't be the run because the 9 k.m. with Gan didn't give me much of a problem and it was only about 2 k.m. today. The area around my knees ache especially the back of them. I think it is because I am not used to standing for long periods of time. And to think that I wore flats yesterday and sport shoes today. I think heels would have damaged my legs already.
The car has been changed. It is now a cool white. A 2.0 litre car and the top can open a little. It looks a bit weird though because that part is black. I was vastly amused to realised that all the fuss yesterday and today...and they wanted to trade that horrid blue for this white one. But come to think of it, I'm missing it ...a little now. After all it has been ferrying me and my stuff to school and places for the past 4 months. At least it was the one that accompanied me for most of the practicum.
Still tired. Came home to collapse after dinner. Slept and then woke up to staple worksheets. I couldn't send them for printing in time and the machine ran out of bullets.
Still feel like sleeping. Maybe I will after I finished stapling them. I've finished a class. Somehow, this reminds me of practicum. (-_-")
There are lots of things to learn and do. Most of them are shoved to the back of my head where I hope I will remember them. There hasn't even been time for me to figure out and start with the new laptop. Right now, it is sitting dismally on the table.
However some of the classes that I've been to seem rather nice. I just hope that they do stay that way.
Anyway, Nana got into the next round of SuperBand. Isn't that great?
Tomorrow....only 6 periods !!! Woo-hoo
The car has been changed. It is now a cool white. A 2.0 litre car and the top can open a little. It looks a bit weird though because that part is black. I was vastly amused to realised that all the fuss yesterday and today...and they wanted to trade that horrid blue for this white one. But come to think of it, I'm missing it ...a little now. After all it has been ferrying me and my stuff to school and places for the past 4 months. At least it was the one that accompanied me for most of the practicum.
Still tired. Came home to collapse after dinner. Slept and then woke up to staple worksheets. I couldn't send them for printing in time and the machine ran out of bullets.
Still feel like sleeping. Maybe I will after I finished stapling them. I've finished a class. Somehow, this reminds me of practicum. (-_-")
There are lots of things to learn and do. Most of them are shoved to the back of my head where I hope I will remember them. There hasn't even been time for me to figure out and start with the new laptop. Right now, it is sitting dismally on the table.
However some of the classes that I've been to seem rather nice. I just hope that they do stay that way.
Anyway, Nana got into the next round of SuperBand. Isn't that great?
Tomorrow....only 6 periods !!! Woo-hoo
Monday, June 23, 2008
Needing more time to myself
It has been a bad way to start the term. The term kicks off with a timetable that puts my heaviest workload on Mondays and Tuesdays coupled with a staff meeting half an hour after my last lesson of the day at 3 a.m.
My voice cracked with dis-use over the holidays, especially when met with a 3 double-period slots. 3 hours. No, I should say my voice cracked several times.
Then it was staff meeting. But at least I could sit down and rest. The worst thing was the car agent wanted to trade the loan car for another car and had bombarded the phone 3 times while I was away at class. I think he also called the mother because the mother SMS-ed me. The handphone died in the midst of my returning that call when I was asked if it was possible to trade the car by 5 p.m.
No-can-do.
Not as if I could tell him that....I tried to switch on the phone to send a last SMS to the mother and the handphone died in the midst of sending, I didn't know if the SMS was sent at all.
Tired.
Totally didn't feel up to going for Nana's competition. Handphone died. No means of contacting them. No prior instructions on where to meet and how to obtain tickets....
Felt totally wasted and knowing that Tuesday is another long day with running 2 k.m, right in the morning doesn't help.
Switched on the handphone to copy the numbers on my palm. Wanted to call Nana to probe how serious it would be if I didn't turn up. She didn't picked up the phone. Called Boss to see if he knew where the competition was going to be. He didn't, except to pick up tickets from someone where the venue wasn't known yet.
Called Bayi to see if she knew the location. She didn't pick up.
Tried Nana again. She didn't pick up.
Tried Boss again. He said he will meet me at the reception where he is to collect the tickets.
Didn't seem like I could back out anymore.
Was so tired it affected my mood. Wasn't happy.
I got lost along the way. Luckily I drove to Bishan and Thompson area once. Figured my way. Traffic was so bad at the turning to Caldecott Hill that I was stuck, half of my car body dangling in the yellow box. There simply wasn't a break and there was no right turn green sign that flashed. I waited for the length of three traffic light cycles and turned at a red light along with another car.
The only good thing was there wasn't any blaring of horns when I was expecting one.
Tired. Moody. Hungry.
But too tired to eat, too moody to be nice. Was irritated and I could hear it in my voice, could feel it emanating from every pore on my body.
I left at 9 p.m, once the competition was done. I didn't think I could survive the results.
Reached home.
The mother said something about the car, asking me to contact the guy tomorrow and tell him the address of the school. I grunted as I made my way to the room. Told her that I will SMS the guy tomorrow, irritation clouding my voice.
Cannot bear noise.
The mother ended up SMS-ing me a reminder.
Need to get this blackish stuff out. But I don't think I can even bear to hear my own voice. So all I can do is write.
Peace, quiet and solitude needed. But my own voice is filled with nothing but irritation and stress.
Feeling better now.
Going to sleep, wake up early to see what little work can be done before I run.
Here's hoping that the timetable changes such that the run with a first period lesson doesn't clash with a 5-classes, 8-periods day and 3 double-periods back-to-back slots.
Well, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays are better with only 2 periods on Fridays.
So much for social stuff...the event this evening is the last one that I will be doing, or at least on a not-so-frequent basis.
But I know it wasn't entirely the fault of today's hectic busy schedule. I should be able to handle a spike of running around like a headless chicken. It was the lack of Chu-time.
Here's hoping people will not get offended when I do not reply. I feel like leaving the phone in the drawer and uninstalling MSN.
Maybe if it gets worse, I'll do that.
Status: Calm/Tired.
My voice cracked with dis-use over the holidays, especially when met with a 3 double-period slots. 3 hours. No, I should say my voice cracked several times.
Then it was staff meeting. But at least I could sit down and rest. The worst thing was the car agent wanted to trade the loan car for another car and had bombarded the phone 3 times while I was away at class. I think he also called the mother because the mother SMS-ed me. The handphone died in the midst of my returning that call when I was asked if it was possible to trade the car by 5 p.m.
No-can-do.
Not as if I could tell him that....I tried to switch on the phone to send a last SMS to the mother and the handphone died in the midst of sending, I didn't know if the SMS was sent at all.
Tired.
Totally didn't feel up to going for Nana's competition. Handphone died. No means of contacting them. No prior instructions on where to meet and how to obtain tickets....
Felt totally wasted and knowing that Tuesday is another long day with running 2 k.m, right in the morning doesn't help.
Switched on the handphone to copy the numbers on my palm. Wanted to call Nana to probe how serious it would be if I didn't turn up. She didn't picked up the phone. Called Boss to see if he knew where the competition was going to be. He didn't, except to pick up tickets from someone where the venue wasn't known yet.
Called Bayi to see if she knew the location. She didn't pick up.
Tried Nana again. She didn't pick up.
Tried Boss again. He said he will meet me at the reception where he is to collect the tickets.
Didn't seem like I could back out anymore.
Was so tired it affected my mood. Wasn't happy.
I got lost along the way. Luckily I drove to Bishan and Thompson area once. Figured my way. Traffic was so bad at the turning to Caldecott Hill that I was stuck, half of my car body dangling in the yellow box. There simply wasn't a break and there was no right turn green sign that flashed. I waited for the length of three traffic light cycles and turned at a red light along with another car.
The only good thing was there wasn't any blaring of horns when I was expecting one.
Tired. Moody. Hungry.
But too tired to eat, too moody to be nice. Was irritated and I could hear it in my voice, could feel it emanating from every pore on my body.
I left at 9 p.m, once the competition was done. I didn't think I could survive the results.
Reached home.
The mother said something about the car, asking me to contact the guy tomorrow and tell him the address of the school. I grunted as I made my way to the room. Told her that I will SMS the guy tomorrow, irritation clouding my voice.
Cannot bear noise.
The mother ended up SMS-ing me a reminder.
Need to get this blackish stuff out. But I don't think I can even bear to hear my own voice. So all I can do is write.
Peace, quiet and solitude needed. But my own voice is filled with nothing but irritation and stress.
Feeling better now.
Going to sleep, wake up early to see what little work can be done before I run.
Here's hoping that the timetable changes such that the run with a first period lesson doesn't clash with a 5-classes, 8-periods day and 3 double-periods back-to-back slots.
Well, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays are better with only 2 periods on Fridays.
So much for social stuff...the event this evening is the last one that I will be doing, or at least on a not-so-frequent basis.
But I know it wasn't entirely the fault of today's hectic busy schedule. I should be able to handle a spike of running around like a headless chicken. It was the lack of Chu-time.
Here's hoping people will not get offended when I do not reply. I feel like leaving the phone in the drawer and uninstalling MSN.
Maybe if it gets worse, I'll do that.
Status: Calm/Tired.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
彳亍着
Went to play pool today. Settlers was too full to seat us.
I also want to thank Iv Ge for getting me a book from Cambodia. It was totally unexpected and I really appreciate the thought. The cover featured Angkor Wat in backlight, far away in the horizon.
我很喜欢这一个词。。。“彳亍”
行于彳亍。。。
从彳亍到行
先人好有幽默
彳亍。。只因为默望長空深深祈禱着，愿剎那化永恒典雅
我想我的人生以彳亍而非行作为属性
Status: wistful
I also want to thank Iv Ge for getting me a book from Cambodia. It was totally unexpected and I really appreciate the thought. The cover featured Angkor Wat in backlight, far away in the horizon.
One need never say goodbye to Angkor, for its magic will go with you wherever fate and the gods may take you to colour your thoughts and dreams to life's very end.
~ H W Ponder
The holidays has allowed me to drift away from the realities of life, to indulge in dreams. Day-dreaming, one of the most futile activity and yet one of the few luxuries I intermittenly allow myself to savour and indulge in.
Sometimes I dream that I was back in South Africa, France or Cambodia.
***
我很喜欢这一首歌。。。
巫啟賢 - 《邂逅》
入暮的山途獨有我彳亍，落紅鏗然顯凄清
低吟起那幽陰的歌，歌聲抖出了蕭索
歌韻隱隱飄蕩入我波心，牽引我山游覓覓尋
低吟起那幽陰的歌，歌聲抖出了蕭索
歌韻隱隱飄蕩入我波心，牽引我山游覓覓尋
邂逅你炯瑩的星眸，顫動我翩翩入夢
恒古雋永美麗的神話，莫非已降臨此剎那
默望長空我深深祈禱，愿剎那化永恒典雅
恒古雋永美麗的神話，莫非已降臨此剎那
默望長空我深深祈禱，愿剎那化永恒典雅
彳亍: 不读为行【拼音chì chù】
形容小步慢走或时走时停。
在戴望舒的《雨巷》中写到：“像我一样，像我一样，默默的彳亍着……”。
在戴望舒的《雨巷》中写到：“像我一样，像我一样，默默的彳亍着……”。
好久的歌， 恰似能嗅出尘来
简单的曲，美丽的词
童年的时光历历在目
终是想回到那小时候
因为终是觉得往前是如此的彳亍着
我很喜欢这一个词。。。“彳亍”
行于彳亍。。。
一个不小心就容易弄错
行于彳亍却表达截然不同的意义
从彳亍到行
是一个跃不过的空间吗？
人生得于彳亍或于行是否是一个定数
先人好有幽默
彳亍间的距离微妙却又如此的永恒
消除了那渺小的空间会不会只是个错别字？
彳亍。。只因为默望長空深深祈禱着，愿剎那化永恒典雅
我想我的人生以彳亍而非行作为属性
那。。又是谁决定把它编进我人生的蓝图里？
Status: wistful
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
victims always win
Sometimes I wonder if it has never been about right or wrong after all but about who's weaker.
Is that why people are getting less resilient?
Because we can't always do the right thing, because we can't always be strong, when we cannot, we are the shattered, we are the victims revelling in sympathetic attention.
So that we can, in our own skewed perceptions of reality, think that we have won.
Is that why people are getting less resilient?
Because we can't always do the right thing, because we can't always be strong, when we cannot, we are the shattered, we are the victims revelling in sympathetic attention.
So that we can, in our own skewed perceptions of reality, think that we have won.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
trying to be positive
My previous post was negative, wasn't it?
But I guess I have to stop using the blog as an outlet for depressing, frustrating stuff. Or else one day I will read through everything and wonder why was I ever so angry and depressive. I've been listening to French songs and it really made me feel better. And I should blog too when I am happy and calm.
I still want to do French and composing and take up music lessons again.
And it's almost 2 years since I've graduated from university in June '06. I've completed driving lessons, gotten my licence and I'm taking music theory lessons right now. Exams are in November. I haven't had any time to prepare yet but here's hoping a space to study will pop up from between now till then.
I've started on enrolling myself in marathons and finishing a 42 km run by 30 seems possible. I AM doing all the things that I want to be doing and the pace seems good enough.
Now that the whole roaring of the storm is behind me, all I hear is the steady tinkling of a fork on a wine glass. Somehow I am hungry again.
But I think I should go and sleep soon. Life is really like running. Sometimes when I think I can no longer go on and it gets so tiring, its becomes all about mental determination. One foot after another and then it doesn't seem so bad and I have no problems continuing until the next wave of how I cannot ..cannot go on...floods again.
But I guess I have to stop using the blog as an outlet for depressing, frustrating stuff. Or else one day I will read through everything and wonder why was I ever so angry and depressive. I've been listening to French songs and it really made me feel better. And I should blog too when I am happy and calm.
I still want to do French and composing and take up music lessons again.
And it's almost 2 years since I've graduated from university in June '06. I've completed driving lessons, gotten my licence and I'm taking music theory lessons right now. Exams are in November. I haven't had any time to prepare yet but here's hoping a space to study will pop up from between now till then.
I've started on enrolling myself in marathons and finishing a 42 km run by 30 seems possible. I AM doing all the things that I want to be doing and the pace seems good enough.
Now that the whole roaring of the storm is behind me, all I hear is the steady tinkling of a fork on a wine glass. Somehow I am hungry again.
But I think I should go and sleep soon. Life is really like running. Sometimes when I think I can no longer go on and it gets so tiring, its becomes all about mental determination. One foot after another and then it doesn't seem so bad and I have no problems continuing until the next wave of how I cannot ..cannot go on...floods again.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
losing weight
I think I've been losing weight.
Last week, K commented that I look thinner and JinY agreed when I looked to her for confirmation.
This week, someone at work commented on my waist. Apparently it is very small though I have no idea why someone would say that because no matter how I look at it, it doesn't look small to me.
Today HQ commented that I look thinner too and when she came over to me to ask me to fill in my T-shirt size, she then decided that I should get XXS....and apparently I have lost so much weight that I look unproportionate because now my head seems bigger than my body.... though I figured it could also be because my head is a mass of tangled curls. Then she asked me is it because I sleep late that is why my face retained water....
On one hand, I am glad that I am losing weight. But........have I lost THAT MUCH weight?!
Hmm.....I think I need to get a weighing machine to weigh myself. For all I know, I could have already hit the target of 42 kg which was my weight back in JC without even realising it.
But the thing is....I'm eating..sometimes more than 1 lunch per day. I also drink coffee many times a day with double dosage of Milo... With regards to exercising, other than the one hockey training I've been to and 2 games of Captain balls and running once a week about 2 km with the students really really slowly, I haven't done much exercising in 2 months. I've stopped with running on Sundays.
You mean 5 weeks of practicum can do that to me?!
Wow......maybe by the end of practicum I will look even smaller...maybe with a little more help, my weight can even go below 40?? I'll be back to secondary school size !!!
Ok, I think I'm running tomorrow. I think I need to 'bitch' to WQ anyway, might as well just lose more weight. I think I need to anyway.
Last week, K commented that I look thinner and JinY agreed when I looked to her for confirmation.
This week, someone at work commented on my waist. Apparently it is very small though I have no idea why someone would say that because no matter how I look at it, it doesn't look small to me.
Today HQ commented that I look thinner too and when she came over to me to ask me to fill in my T-shirt size, she then decided that I should get XXS....and apparently I have lost so much weight that I look unproportionate because now my head seems bigger than my body.... though I figured it could also be because my head is a mass of tangled curls. Then she asked me is it because I sleep late that is why my face retained water....
On one hand, I am glad that I am losing weight. But........have I lost THAT MUCH weight?!
Hmm.....I think I need to get a weighing machine to weigh myself. For all I know, I could have already hit the target of 42 kg which was my weight back in JC without even realising it.
But the thing is....I'm eating..sometimes more than 1 lunch per day. I also drink coffee many times a day with double dosage of Milo... With regards to exercising, other than the one hockey training I've been to and 2 games of Captain balls and running once a week about 2 km with the students really really slowly, I haven't done much exercising in 2 months. I've stopped with running on Sundays.
You mean 5 weeks of practicum can do that to me?!
Wow......maybe by the end of practicum I will look even smaller...maybe with a little more help, my weight can even go below 40?? I'll be back to secondary school size !!!
Ok, I think I'm running tomorrow. I think I need to 'bitch' to WQ anyway, might as well just lose more weight. I think I need to anyway.
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